Ama de Casa

It’s evening, the night sky dark above us, stars shining brightly though we can’t see them.  The street before us is ever busy with traffic: buses, cars, trucks, motorcycles, horses, bikes, people.  Beside me sits my host family: Wilma my host mom, Anderson my host dad, Sadie my host sister and Javier my host brother.  We are all sitting on the sidewalk just in front of the house, sipping fruit smoothies and sharing stories with one another.  Occasionally a friend will pass by and they’ll shout out a greeting in our direction.  In this moment, we are truly surrounded by community.  And here I sit, nothing more than a visitor and yet a welcome part of it all.  I’m starting to love it here :)

Sadie, Wilma, Anderson, Javier

This week I have been doing profiles of all of the families that will be hosting students this coming fall.  These profiles will be translated by yours truly and then sent to the students so they can know a bit about their family before they arrive.  The host families will also receive a profile of the student.  During my visits, I ask for the families to give a basic description of themselves and sometimes I get some pretty funny responses.  Sometimes they sound way better in Spanish but when translated into English they sound very strange.  For example one of our moms said this about herself: “She treats each student as if they were her own children, as if they had spent nine months in her womb.”  It’s meant to be an honor, to describe how much she loves hosting students, as if they were her own kids.  But to our ears, it kind of sounds creepy :)

Another common description I’ve heard from our host mothers is ama de casa.  Ama de casa translates best to “housewife” or “housekeeper”.  This is literally the job title for many women who stay at home and take care of the house, raise the children, and keep everything going.  Described this way, being called an ama de casa is a little bit demeaning, unless of course you had always as a little girl dreamed of being a housewife when you grew up.  Then again, many women do dream of this (present company excluded).  Putting aside my hyper-feminist voice, I have to admit that I see a very strong sense of pride in the women who are amas de casa—they are the ones who nourish the family, cherish the children, and maintain the home that keeps them.  They are the glue that keeps both family and house together.  Ama de casa more literally can be translated to “love of home”.  Isn’t that a more beautiful way of putting it, of describing these women whose lives are dedicated to loving their home inside and out?  Or better yet, saying that these women are the love of the home?  It’s not just what they do, it’s who they are.

And my host mom truly is an ama de casa.  Wilma takes pride in her family, in her children, in her husband, in her home.  Not her house, her home.  A house is the building; a home is the whole package.  For Wilma, her family comes first, for if they’re not together then what point is there?  Every moment they have together as a family is sought after and cherished. 

And I’m lucky enough to witness this.  Not only witness it, but be a part of it.  I’ve been welcomed into their family, a new daughter and sister in the home.  An hija that doesn’t quite know all of their history, an hermana that doesn’t quite get all of their inside jokes.  But I am welcome here nonetheless. 

Despite my newfound respect for the women of the house, I’m not saying that when I grow up I want to be an ama de casa.  I’m saying that I respect those women who are and who find fulfillment and joy in being the love of the home.  And more honestly, I’m admitting that I’m not sure I could be a very good ama de casa.  But I pray that given the chance I could grow to be a true ama de casa, following in the steps of all the women who have raised me and taken care of me in my life.  It would be my way of honoring them, I think, of thanking them for all of their sacrifice and love and for making me a part of their home. 

This week I go out to meet more amas de casa, to learn more about their families, to hear more about their homes.  Pray that I will meet them with an open heart, listening ears, and a curious mind. 

Stay tuned!