I'm Back!!

After a 21 hour bus ride (in which I felt very car sick), I was almost ready to kiss the ground in El Salvador :) And I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting, but this trip was more of a surprise than anything.  Was I picturing a city in ruins, gangs running amuck, and poverty around every corner?  Perhaps I was.  I was for sure not expecting a Burger King every two miles or roundabouts or huge cathedrals or memorial parks everywhere.  And I certainly was not expecting to use my own money, U.S. dollars, to buy things!  Crazy!  I have to say, not only did I never once feel unsafe or unsecure, I had an absolute blast :)  Ok, yes, I did need to be careful but gang violence and robbery can be found in every city.  You just need to know the places to avoid going to and the times to avoid being out alone—wise lessons for everyone no matter where you’re living. 

During my extensive trip of one week to El Salvador, I now consider myself an expert on their culture (just kidding).  Essentially I was a student and I tried to absorb everything that I saw or heard or, in some cases, ate :)  I learned that while its history is shockingly painful and tragic, the people of El Salvador continue to live on and find joy in everyday life—a true testament to the will and strength of the people.  The scars are still there but many are learning to live with them; sadly, however, many in the younger generations are not learning about their history and remain unaware of the hurt their country experienced.  This new generation is focused on the Western world and on obtaining the “American Dream” and all its modern comforts.  This focus is reflected in the multitude of malls and Western fast food chains found throughout the country as well as in the “need” for the younger generations to learn English or for the many people that feel the need to immigrate to the U.S.  It makes me wonder if they really understand what role the United States has had in their country and what awful interventions we undertook…  I wish the world could have the chance to speak with anyone from those older generations, to hear a man break down as he shares his story about how his brothers were forced into the military, literally ripped from their family while he was spared because he was too young or learn how the United States funded that war and provided the arms that would be responsible for massacring thousands of people.  I wish the whole world could learn from this, but we have a remarkable ability to forget the past and continue on as if nothing has happened.  I firmly believe that if we do not learn from our past, we are doomed to repeat it.

Up on San Salvador volcano with (from left) Rachel, Guissel, Eliberto
Fugi, and Sofi

On a happier note, I had a wonderful time experiencing the city of San Salvador and its culture.  Rachel, Guissel and I stayed with a family for the week: Eliberto, his wife Ethel and their two kids Fugi (8) and Sofia (7).  They were such a blast to hang out and were so gracious to us to let us stay with them and to show us around.  I learned about the amazing urban ministry work that is going on in El Salvador through Eliberto and Casa Semillas (for more information, visit http://www.casasemillas.org/casasemillashtml.html).  One day we even helped out in one of the ministries and played with kids in an impoverished area, helped prepare a meal for them, and joined them in a worship service.  For more touristy activities, we went to a local park (which was HUGE) to hang out with the kids and stumbled upon a concert there with a full orchestra, band, and choir.  We also climbed the San Salvador volcano and saw the great views of the city below while drinking coffee and eating dessert in a really fancy restaurant.  We also I experienced firsthand their pride in their pupusas, a national favorite made out of rice or corn and stuffed traditionally with cheese and beans (delicious!).  

Eating pupusas with some friends :)

Eliberto also exposed us to the historical side of El Salvador:  he took us to the place where they assassinated Oscar Romero, an archbishop, as well as to his tomb (for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%93scar_Romero); we went to the college where 6 Jesuit priests and two women were murdered just days after I was born (for more info: http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/WPnov16.html); he also took us to participate in a vigil honoring the Jesuits where hundreds of people come to walk in a procession in their memory, take part in a Catholic mass, and enjoy a concert of local music afterwards.  Basically, I am on information overload and I’ve added links so that you too can join me in this :)  Suffice to say, this past week has been an emotional one, both sad and joyful, and I’m still processing what I’ve learned.  I continue to wonder at the blessings God has given me and continues to give me, and this trip has emphasized these blessings even more.  We shall see what this week has in store.  Stay tuned!!

A Whirlwind

You know when you are spinning really fast in a circle, like when riding a merry-go-round, and all the colors of the world around you blur together into one big streaky mess?  Well, this is what my memory of the past week looks like. This past week has been a blur, a literal whirlwind of activities and meetings and work and (here and there) sleep.  It’s hard to believe that last week Wednesday was Halloween—that seems forever ago!  Despite the exhaustion that now cloaks my body, I’d certainly rather be on my toes than dragging my feet.  So I guess that makes this past week a blessing :)

Just to recap the week (for you and for myself):  On Tuesday, Guissel (my roommate and fellow community worker) and I went to a local school to set up a date to speak with the Director of the school to promote tutoring in that area.  I also had tutoring that day and several kids from the closest school showed up.  We ended up playing several games to practice their English, like numbers and animals. On Wednesday, Guissell and I went to serve food to people on the streets with a local organization, which turned out to be a lot of fun.  We also made friends on the walk back home with a 90 year old woman, Julita, who we invited over for lunch (and she invited herself back over for dinner) :)  She had such spirit—I hope I’m that lively when I get to that age!  After lunch we had the meeting with the director at the school, who was very interested in our tutoring program so hopefully more kids from that area will come.  Wednesday was also Halloween and we weren’t planning on doing anything special (due to the fact that several churches here might be incredibly offended and we don’t want that) but then suddenly 15 kids from the neighborhood showed up at the house expecting a party… no one knows where they got the idea from, maybe just because we’re a bunch of Americans or something!  So a few of us quick dressed up in black as ninjas and played games with them for a bit :)  Thursday was a normal day in the office and Spanish lessons in the afternoon.  Late that afternoon though we went to go visit a friend Ana and her 5 kids.  Ana and her family just moved to a nicer place in town—nicer meaning their own bathroom, 2 bedrooms, cement floors, and a gate for security instead of the tin, cardboard, and dirt home they had before.  It was really a blessing to see the joy and pride on their faces about their new home.  On Friday, we played soccer with a bunch of local kids, a tradition we’re hoping to keep up.  It started raining but that didn’t stop the game—apparently being soaked and running through puddles is no big deal.  I was goalie again but I wasn’t very good since the rain clung to my glasses and created an extremely distorted picture of reality :)  But we had a good time nonetheless.  Saturday was a much more relaxed day and I started reading the book Poisonwood Bible.  Even though I’m only a few chapters into it, I highly recommend it to anyone interested in past missionary culture in Africa.  Saturday evening we also went to a play that one of the guys here, Fer, was a main actor in.  Even though I didn't understand all of it, it was still really well done :)  On Sunday, Rachel and I went to 2 different church services that were both evangelical.  We enjoyed both but the services were long and the one was very lively (which was outside of our comfort zones to say the least), so the day flew by and we were both exhausted come dinnertime.  And yesterday, well yesterday Guissel and I went to San Jose to buy our bus tickets for our trip to El Salvador at the end of this week.  Which brings me to the next subject I want to talk about: my first trip :)

So, newsflash: I’m going to El Salvador! The three of us (Guissel, Rachel, and I) are going both to renew our visas as well as to visit a partner organization there, Casa Semillas.  This past week, we have been doing research and watching movies about El Salvador to prepare us for the trip there.  If you know nothing about El Salvador, I recommend you start learning about them because their history is a tragic one and the United States was one of the culprits in their pain.  It is a great dishonor if we remain oblivious to what happened.  If you’re interested in watching some movies about them, I recommend Voces Inocentes (Innocent Voices), Romero, and Salvador.  To sum it up succinctly, we are traveling to a place that has deep wounds from a recent violent civil war, wounds that have not healed, and is now suffering from extreme gang violence and corruption.  It is not a safe place.  But God is at work there too and we’re going to see the work that’s going on their right now in the capital, San Salvador.  Please keep us in your prayers as we travel there and stay there.  But more importantly, please pray for the people of El Salvador, for the love of God to spread among the people and for healing, true healing, to take place.  I won’t be able to write until I get back but please stay tuned—I’ll have some good stories to tell when I get back!  

Not My Strength, but His

My eyes have been opened and now I truly see.  Amidst the bleakness of human failures and corruption there exists a beauty that permeates everything, a beauty so vivacious I cannot believe I had not seen it before.  But God opened my eyes this week, often times with a divine slap to the back of my head :)

Let me explain a bit:  Before beginning a new project, I have always come at the situation with the mindset of “What can I do to make it better?” or “How can I help fix this?”  This is often the mindset of anyone setting out on a mission trip or service project and it is often the biggest mistake we can make.  If we go into it with our minds made up and our focus on what we can do, we are blind to the beauty of what we can learn and receive from those we are trying to help.  This week has been a huge lesson in this for me.

On Friday, the girls here in the house and I began playing soccer at a local court.  I was nervous since my past expertise on the sport verges on the nonexistent… nonetheless I put on my game face and acted like I knew what I was doing.  From the start, kids from the community began to join in on our game and soon we had multitude of players on each team.  Though they were young, they had fancy feet, let me tell you.  I felt very much out of my element.  And then, they made me goalie...  Inside I was mortified and fearful that I was about to make a fool of myself in a very public way!  BUT, by the grace of God, I may not be able to use my feet but I do know how to use my hands :)  I protected that goal like a fiend and wowed everyone with my talents (ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit).  In the end, I learned that though I could bring nothing to the table in terms of footwork and had to bow to the talents of others, they still welcomed me as a player and gave me an important position to play (which surprisingly turned out to their advantage).  The lesson for this day: embrace those “below” you and they might just surprise you with what they can do :)

Susie, Luli and I taking a break

The following morning, I went on a hike with a couple high school girls and a local 5^th grade class.  I was a bit nervous because I was the designated driver (my first time driving here by the way) and I was (am) way out of shape.  So this day presented many challenges for me.  I began my day by confessing my fears and weaknesses to God and prayed that he would give me the strength to get through the day.  Despite my fears, the day turned out to be one of the best days I’ve had so far :)  Driving was a blast, the people I went with were great company, the hike wasn’t too difficult for little ol’ me, the landscape was breathtaking, and the weather was beautiful!  What an answer to prayer!  I felt as if God was slapping me on the back of the head and saying “About time you let me help.”  Thank you God—I learned my lesson :)

Our beautiful hike 

And each day now, I can see the work of God more clearly in my life and I am learning to let him take the lead in my day and not rely on my own strength but on his.  Please pray that I continue leaning on God every day and letting him lead me.  Thank you for all of your prayers of support and words of encouragement.  Stay tuned!

The Wisdom of Yielding

Sometimes, I feel as if I can conquer the world, as if nothing can stop me from doing what I want or what other want me to.  Other times, not so much.  This week has been interesting as I have come to the realization that truthfully, I can’t do much on my own.  I am dependent on many things and many people and this is challenging for Little Miss Independent here to accept.  Throughout this week, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that there is wisdom in yielding, in yielding to the idea that I am simply not enough. 

Let me explain a bit so you can get a clearer picture of what I mean by yielding.  Yielding is, for example, when you come to know your place and role in different situations and where your gifts and talents (and weaknesses) are best placed.  This means yielding to others who are “better” than you in certain areas, in giving up the spotlight and center stage to those who are better equipped.

Yielding also means coming to the understanding and realization that we can’t fix everything, not in this broken world.  As it is said, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink.  We can do and do and do but only God can transform minds and hearts.  We need to confess not only to God but to ourselves that we are weak and incomplete, that we need Him and His strength to carry out our work.  We need to yield and accept that we have limits and that it’s in fact ok to admit their existence instead of putting on a brave face and pretending they’re not there.

Yielding also means that you understand that your way of practice, of belief or of action is not the only way in this world.  God created this world to be a diverse and beautiful reflection of his divinity and he saw that it was good.  We must not try to mold the world to one lifestyle, to one way of thinking.  We must yield to diversity.

This past week, I came across several Bible verses that shine a light on God’s strength and how he sustains us, not the other way around. 

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”  Ephesians 2: 8-10.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

“As for God, his way is perfect:
    The Lord’s word is flawless;
    he shields all who take refuge in him.
³¹ For who is God besides the Lord?
    And who is the Rock except our God?
³² It is God who arms me with strength
    and keeps my way secure.
³³ He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
    he causes me to stand on the heights.
³⁴ He trains my hands for battle;
    my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
³⁵ You make your saving help my shield,
    and your right hand sustains me;
    your help has made me great.
³⁶ You provide a broad path for my feet,
    so that my ankles do not give way.”

                                          Psalm 18: 30-36

I pray that these words may be an inspiration and a blessing to all of you during this next week and in the weeks to come.  Thank you for all of your prayers of support and encouragement as I continue adjusting to a new life here.  On a side note, Happy Birthday Evan!  Anyway, I’m sure this next week will hold many more lessons for me.  Stay tuned!

Pollo!

Bamboo rods, stuffed plastic bottles, and mud—lots of it.  If you have these three things, you’ve got yourself a chicken coop.  Or that’s what they tell me anyway :)

This weekend we began building a new chicken coop and my task for the most part was making mud and mixing it with hay.  Picture this: a few of us stomping in a hole with mud covering our legs and hands—truly it was a vision reminiscent of the Israelites and their mud brick making back in Egypt, only this time it was a bunch of girls dancing in the mud and having a good time.  “Modern Israelites” was our official title for the day.  So if you need mud for building walls, I’ve got contacts.  And experience.

It was a great time of fellowship, of many cultures coming together to build this chicken coop.  15 sets of hands helping cut bamboo or putting mud in the frames.  Classic rock music playing in the background.  Chickens and goats wandering around the constructions site, curious to see what’s going on in their yard.  And Jim even wore a kilt to work (it’s his macho outfit I guess)!  I’m sure we were a rare sight to behold and I’m not quite sure what the community would think if they could have seen us :)

At one point, we were corralling the chickens for the night and I was chasing this one stubborn chicken who refused to go in the coop.  Needless to say, I wasn’t watching very carefully where I was running and managed to scrape the bottom of my foot on something very sharp (I think it was a nail).  I was quite a mess that night, covered in mud and straw and limping.  But, despite this minor injury, I deem the experience a success.  We’re not quite finished building the coop yet so this coming weekend will be more of the same I expect :)

In addition to the coop construction, we welcomed another visitor for the weekend from Panama, we experienced a 5.0 earthquake’s tremors (crazy!!), and we welcomed a new member to our “community development work team”—my roommate Guiselle.  So, all in all, a very busy and crazy week we had here in Costa Rica.  I’m sure next week will be just as fun.  Stay tuned!

Contradictions of Life

My life this week has been one of contradictions… As if each moment is being pulled in two separate and equally powerful directions.  Let me tell you, to be caught in the middle is strenuous and exhausting.

Let me explain:  first and foremost, I have been on an emotional roller coaster this week.  At one moment I am loving everything I am doing and living life here to the fullest.  The next moment, I am in anguish, hating everything and dreading doing anything.  So, normal girl stuff I guess :)  The whole week I’ve kept myself busy so that I wouldn’t have time to think, to think on things I can’t have (like hamburgers, fall weather, and my family).  And then moments will hit me where I can’t not think about it and I’m a train wreck of emotions… My legendary poker face is definitely getting a workout.  But there are times where I look around and I am so blessed by what I see and witness, from a child’s laugh to the beautiful scenery to the tasty food.  If I’m honest, I love it and hate it here, something that is very hard to process :)

I have also experienced the “yes when I really mean no” sentiment here lately… one second we’ll all be on the same page for something, agreeing wholeheartedly on said topic, and the next moment someone has taken offense to what was decided, feelings were hurt, and relationships were strained.  Because the family here is white, educated and American (and so are Rachel and I) an unintentional class system has been established between us and those around us.  And it’s unlikely those barriers will be broken, not soon anyway.  We treat everyone here as equals but if they themselves do not believe to be our equals, what then can be done?  They will continue to tell us what we want to hear but not the truth… please pray that these barriers can be crossed and broken down and the love of God can take its place. 

Joy, despair; love, hate; happiness, sadness; yes, no—this week has been opposite week, everyone.  So buckle up and enjoy the ride!  That’s honestly how I felt.  Crazy!  We shall see what lies in store for us this coming week—hopefully some mellowness and sanity will be added into the mix and life here can reach a happy medium.  And so we go.  Stay tuned!

Well, This is New...!

Every morning, I wake up and my heart skips a beat.  You’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy.  My mind stumbles a bit at my new room, my new house, my new life.  I haven’t quite absorbed that fully yet.  I think a part of me still thinks I’m on vacation or something and I’ll be going home soon.  To think that I will be living here it a huge mental leap.  And right now, my feet are wavering in front of that hurdle, unable to hop across yet. 

I have learned and seen and experienced so much so far that it’s almost overwhelming, but in a good way.  I've learned that jaywalking is normal, that you can’t flush your toilet paper, that sidewalks are very uneven so you best watch where you walk, and that cockroaches are fairly common.  I've learned that thunder can be scary, that people here kiss cheeks in greeting, and that soccer (here it’s called football) is the sport so you better love it.  Personally, I've also learned that thinking a lot in Spanish makes me sleepy, that I need to take a shower at night if I want hot water, and that I need to get into shape if I’m going to be walking everywhere.  Basically, I feel as if I never left school, only at this school I never leave class :)

This week, my fellow intern here, Rachel, and I will be canvassing the neighborhood in an attempt to get a feel for the people here and the inner workings of the community.  We want to develop relationships with those living around Casa Adobe and to understand the strengths and weaknesses of the community.  With this information, hopefully we can encourage the community to look to its strengths to help improve its weaknesses.  A huge project, no doubt.  Please pray that we will be able to keep our focus on this week and what we can do this week only so we don’t get overwhelmed by the future.

I don’t know if any of you have the book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  It’s a great devotional for mornings as it’s short and gives great food for thought for the day.  The devotional for September 22 has stuck with me for the past week or so, so I’d thought I share a part of it with you.  I recommend that you read the whole thing if you can.

“Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today’s tasks—or even tomorrow’s. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you.  Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes.  Because I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me” (Young, 2004, p. 277).   

Thank you so much for all your prayers and support!  Without further ado, I bid you adieu.  Stay tuned :)