Why am I Here?

I cannot believe that it is almost August!  Where did the year go?  I remember, way back in February, looking at how daunting the year seemed.  Psh, that was months ago already!  Honestly, I feel as if time is slipping through my fingers.  If I had a superpower, I’d choose to be a time traveler :)

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on why I’m here.  Not in the literal sense—I understand why I chose to live in another culture for such a long time.  I’m talking more in the big picture sense of things.  Why am I, a young white American, here in Central America?  What does my presence here imply about me and my ethics?  Should I even be here?

I'm on the fence.  I’ve always felt that a person can be most effective when they work in their own cultural context—they already know all the rules to play by and have established relations with those around them.  Moving to a new place, a new culture, and/or another country is different—you have to start from scratch.  So, then, what's the purpose of international missions and missionaries?  To impose their ideas on an already thriving culture?  To impose new norms on an already established society? To save the impoverished?  Maybe I’m exaggerating, but isn’t that kind of what we’re saying by being here?  That we’ve got it all figured out and it’s up to us to share the “good news”?  Isn't that overly presumptuous of us?  Thinking we can change the world, or that we should change the world? If we are more effective working in the community we come from in the first place, why try to be where we clearly don't belong, where we might not be needed or even wanted?  Why do we feel this "white man’s Christian burden" to change the world one soul at a time?  Isn't that absurd? Audacious? Wrong?

That said, I do place a high value on leaving one’s context, learning from another, and coming back to put into practice what you’ve learned.  To do that, obviously, one needs to place themselves somewhere they don’t belong.  The temptation there, though, is in thinking that you are coming to change rather than to be changed. 

I’m not going to go all out and say that there is no place for international missions.  That would be way above my pay grade to do that.  However, I will be the first to question its importance and to keep a critical eye on anyone who feels called to that path (including myself).  Make sure you are becoming a missionary for the right reasons.  Please, be humble enough to accept the fact that where you’re going, they might not need you.  Be careful of that pedestal of pride you might put yourself up on—you are important, but so are those you’ve “come to serve”.  Make sure you are sincerely committed to moving to that new community and investing fully in its wellbeing.  Go into it with an open mind and a willing heart to be changed. 

I feel like I’m preaching and I apologize.  In reality, this is a pep talk to yours truly.  I need to hear these words as much as anyone and I hope that by sharing them I haven’t stomped too hard on anyone’s toes.  I’ll end by saying that I fully believe God has called us to a life of missions no matter where we are; I’m just not sure about the best way to go about it. 

Next week, I’ll be in Honduras for another conference.  I won’t be able to write while I’m away but I’d love to continue talking about missions.  Please pray for safe travel and for us to have a good time in Honduras.  Stay tuned!!