Dismal and Bleak and Gray

Here I sit...  And sit...  I could play a game...  I could watch a movie...  I could read a book...  I could go outside... 

Meh. 

I could go into town...  I could make some tea...  I could play soccer...  I could take a shower...

Meh.

This past week has been a charming example of “meh” and all that this little drab and depressing word includes…

And.

I.

Can’t.

Describe.

It.

For.

You.

I am happy too sometimes, don’t get me wrong.  Little Maya telling me a story, half in English and half in Spanish.  Baby Sage bleating for his mama and prancing around.  The fresh wind through my bedroom window.  The sun on my face in the morning.  A good cup of tea while reading a book.  These are the things I love.

But then, my dismal, bleak, gray “meh” mood comes back…

I know that there are emotions and thoughts buried deep, but for now my mind seems content to just bury them and forget about them for a while.  Those are tomorrow’s problems, tomorrow’s worries.  I’ll get there.  Just not today.

Dear Lord,

I pray that today will be a bit sunnier than yesterday.

That today, I will take time to be by myself.

To sit.

To think.

To cry.

To pray.

I ask that your hand be with me, as I face this new challenge.

Give me strength.

Give me patience.

Give me peace.

In your name alone,

Amen.