Inner Peace

Have you ever wandered outside late at night just after a fresh snowfall?  The stars shine brightly overhead in the onyx night sky, not a cloud in sight.  The snow around you glistens, reflecting the beautiful glow of the moon above.  It is silent, the kind of silence that feels vast and heavy.  It’s quite eerie in a way, yet strangely beautiful.  If I had to compare how I am feeling, this would be it.  God, however, gives it another meaning: Peace that transcends all understanding. 

 

I remember the end of last year, being here and adjusting to a whole new world.  Anxiety, you could say, was my best friend, or worst rather.  We were tight.  Every once in a while, though, I would get a glimpse of peacefulness, of inner tranquility.  I craved those moments but found them hard to grasp at times.  I still worried too much.  This year, I begged God to not let me feel like that again, to not be ridden with worry and constantly overthinking about the future.  I begged Him to send me His peace, a peace that would steady my heart and ease my mind.  And I can tell you, it truly passes all understanding.  By all accounts, logical human accounts that is, I should worry and plan and prepare and think about the future.  And I do, but it’s different.  Now I’m trying to see the future as something I’ll eventually get to.  The steps to take along the way, I will walk with trust in every footfall, trust that God knows what He’s doing.  And I don’t need to worry, for He doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle if we lean on His understanding and not our own. 

It isn’t easy.  In fact, sometimes I ruin it when I think about it too much.  Just when I start feeling calm and assured, I think to myself, “Well this is weird,” and then I start thinking how eerie it is to feel so peaceful and wondering how long it’ll last and what does it mean and…. You get the point.  I start to overanalyze this wonderful gift that has been given to me instead of accepting it and continuing on.  So my next challenge for myself is learning graciousness for the blessings I’m given.  As Sarah Young puts it January 19’s devotion in Jesus Calling:

“Seek my face, and you will find more than ever dreamed possible. Let Me displace worry at the center of your being. I am like a supersaturated cloud, showering Peace into the pool of your mind. My Nature is to bless. Your nature is to receive with thanksgiving. This is a true fit, designed before the foundation of the world. Glorify Me by receiving My blessings gratefully…” (p. 20).

I pray that each and every one of you receives the blessing of God’s peace in this coming year.  And I challenge you, just as I challenge myself, to accept this great gift with open arms and not a questioning and doubting mind. 

On a side note, I just heard that my sister Sarah was in an accident this morning.  Praise God she’s ok but keep her in your prayers and that all her aches and pains will be healed quickly.

 

Stay tuned!

Welcome Surprises (And One Not-So-Welcome One)

Well, I’m back.  And Costa Rica threw me a Welcome Home party this time around—bright sunshine, strong breezes, and friendly faces.  Can’t get much better than that! 
 

Maya, Tali and Me at our best ;)

So, quite a few things happened here at Casa Adobe in my absence, things that I’m still finding out about too.  Let’s see… well, we have four new people living here at the house--Gina, Chris, Jesse and Lucy—and so the house is full all the time!  I believe Jesse and Lucy are going to be leaving for the States in a couple weeks and Chris is going to be here for quite a few months.  And I have no idea on Gina.  Last I knew she was going back to the States around Christmas time and then, lo and behold, she’s still here!  So surprises aplenty :)  What else?  I had the opportunity to sit in on Ruth guest speaking at a local university and to hear about her life and how she grew into her identity as a daughter of God.  It was such a blessing and a challenge to hear her story.  Also, my former Spanish teacher (who also lives here) got a job!!  So that’s a mighty answer to prayers!  She works 4 days a week which works out great for her and her husband Fabio and their little 2 year old daughter Maya.  Another thing that’s new:  that huge hole in the front yard where I helped make mud (remember for the chicken coop?) has been filled in.  Weird.  Little Maya has also changed—she’s talking a mile a minute now (we’re trying to teach her to say “cool beans” and “I’m bilingual”) J  And a whole bunch of other little new things like the garage door opener doesn’t work for some reason, and we have a bunch of new coffee mugs now (they’re pretty cool), and we have new Frisbees for tutoring, and the piano was tuned.  And the goats keep escaping--I had to go fetch them today :)  Oh!  And Rachel is going to Africa with Ruth in a couple weeks for a conference.  I feel like I’m learning something new every time I turn a corner!


Maya and Me playing on my computer
in the tutoring room

But, I have to say, the newest, most shocking visitor we have here has been (drumroll please):  lice!  On their trip to Argentina, one of the Padilla-Deborst girls got lice from her cousins.  So now we have formed regular grooming sessions, combing each other’s hair to check for any unwelcome guests, very reminiscent of monkeys grooming one another.  So far, only Chabe, Gina, and Daniela have got them.  Daniela even went to the extreme and instead of treating her hair with chemicals and such, she shaved it all off!!  Crazy stuff!  And I am thankful and oh so relieved to say that I do not have them.  Thank God!  So keep the house in your prayers and that the lice invasion will be stopped :)

In all, I am thankful to be back.  It’s going to be a challenging road ahead of me but I pray that it will be an enriching challenge for me. 

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future.’”

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Stay with me as I go on this journey once again.  Stay tuned!

Seek Justice, Love Mercy

Huh…  3 months have passed already… Doesn’t it feel like I just left?  What has impacted me the most in my short time here, you might ask?  Honestly, I can’t pick just one thing.  But I will mention one thing that has stuck in my mind, one thing that is constantly simmering on my thinking stove: that of justice.  Each day I am shown not only what blessings I have in my life but also the people around me who have been robbed of such blessings: a family of seven living together in a cardboard and tin shack, a veteran missing his legs and living in his wheelchair on the streets, a man who’s brother was murdered by a gang, a daughter separated from her mother due to immigration and the hope of a better life—these are the people upon whom justice has not served.  And these are the very people God calls us to search out, to lend a hand, and most of all to love.  I think David got it right when he wrote:

“O Lord, you will hear the desire of the meek; you will strengthen their heart, you will incline your ear to do justice for the orphan and the oppressed, so that those from earth may strike terror no more.”

Psalm 10: 17-18 (NRSV)

God has given us the mandate to help those who are forgotten, to love those who are shunned, and to embrace those who are deserted.  I challenge not only myself but everyone to pray that every day God will lead us to do just this, to see this fallen world through the loving eyes of our Father and to seek justice in our every action. 

Yoga lesson!

Yesterday we had our big Christmas Party for our tutoring kids, a huge fiesta complete with games, a skit, a yoga lesson, Christmas cookie decorating, a talent show, and a movie :)  In all, 14 of our kids came!  Let me tell you, we had our hands full!  But we also had extra hands to help out too—Jim and Ruth’s son Jonathan and his girlfriend Gina arrived on Sunday and two of our friends, Susanna and Daniela, came to help out too.  I am so grateful for the extra help we had, especially in making 84 snowflake, gingerbread man, and Christmas tree sugar cookies as well as the homemade frosting to go with it!  Even though it was a lot of work, the reward of seeing their joy in just having fun was enough for me—I’d do it all over again if I had to.  Ok, maybe not today or anything… give me a few days to catch my breath and then we can do it again :)

Decorating cookies :)

So, I leave tomorrow.  I leave behind great weather (no seriously, GREAT weather), the Costa Rican laidback and take-it-as-it-comes culture, the Spanish language, fresh fruit and coffee every morning for breakfast, and the train that wakes me up in the wee hours every morning.  But more than that, I leave behind a great group of friends that I’ve made here.  I think that’s the thing I’ll miss most: being unconditionally welcomed into a culture (more than one culture for that matter) in which I so clearly do not belong, being hugged and kissed in greeting by friends and strangers alike, and just in general feeling like I’m “another one of the family.”  It has been a struggle, I’ll admit, to find my place and to figure out where I fit.  But by the grace of God, I’ve successfully wedged myself into this family and into this place :) Let’s just say I can’t wait to see what next year has in store for me!

So today will be filled with bittersweet goodbyes as we all go our separate ways for the holidays.  But I can look forward to tomorrow and to setting foot on familiar soil (hopefully none of that nasty white stuff) and seeing the not-so-tan faces of my friends and family :)  And so I’ll close with God’s blessing to Jacob at Bethel:

“I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land.  I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.” Genesis 28:15 (NIV)

Stay tuned!

Snowflakes and Twinkly Lights

The cold and windy season has arrived here in Costa Rica.  Each night I bundle up in my sweatpants, sweatshirt and a cup of tea—it’s 60 degrees outside :)

Christmas music fills every store and up and down our street Christmas lights twinkle and shine from many houses.  We even have paper snowflakes hanging up in our windows, compliments of our tutoring kids :)  Christmas is on its way and yet, without the foreboding gift of snow, it hasn’t quite sunk in yet that it is the second week in December.  I guess palm trees and a sunburn would confuse any Michigander!

This week has been hectic to say the least, preparing for the departures of many here at the house (including my own) and planning events and activities for the holiday season and enjoying birthday celebrations.  

Arts and craft time for tutoring

Next week, we are throwing a Christmas fiesta here at the house for all of our tutoring kids!  It should be a fun night with a talent show, decorating Christmas cookies, and watching a movie :)  A lot needs to be done yet in preparation for this so please pray that those of us in charge here persevere and cross off every item on the to-do list.  Behind every good party there is someone who’s planned it all—I encourage you all to take the time this Christmas to give a big hug to anyone who fills this role :)

Sunset on the beach

Amidst the chaos of living and working here, God has blessed me with things to brighten my day.  This weekend it was my roommate Guissell’s birthday and so, in celebration, a group of us girls here (Jim and Ruth’s three daughters, Rachel, and I) treated her to a day at the beach!  It was knock-my-socks-off beautiful, with bright blue skies, a gentle breeze, plenty of palm trees, and crystal clear water (not to rub it in too much to those of you who have that fluffy dandruff covering your front lawns)!  It was a beautiful day that gave us the opportunity to not only have fun but also relax before the busy week ahead of us.  

Throughout the day, Psalm 19 kept popping into my head:

“The heavens declare the glory of God,

The skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

Night after night they display knowledge.

There is no speech or language

Where their voice is not heard.

Their voice goes out into all the earth,

Their words to the ends of the world...”

Psalm 19: 1-4a (NIV)

Walking on the beach after sunset

Every day in the world around me, I see the Artist’s message and am humbled that my eyes can see, that my ears can hear, that my heart can believe.  Please pray that I don’t lose this focus, that I don’t forget who is at the center of everything.  Also, please pray that all of our eyes, ears, and hearts will be opened to the message God has for us. 

I know it’s only Tuesday but I can already feel the week passing before my eyes!  I’m sure I’ll have great stories to tell for next week.  I’ll close with my favorite Irish blessing:  “May the road rise up to meet you. May the wind be always at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face; the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.”  Stay tuned!

Of Kings and Things

December: the month of snow (well for some of us), of eggnog, of Christmas carols, of final exams, of Christmas break, of Jesus’ birth.  I can’t believe it’s here already!  Where has the time gone?  `

This past week we had a visitor stay with us: Irma.  Irma is a student from the States (Wheaton in Chicago) and is currently conducting research on Nicaraguan immigration to Costa Rica.  Graciously, Irma let us travel around town this week and sit in on some of her interviews, from personal migration experiences to the more legal end of immigrating.  One of these days, Irma, Guissel, Rachel and I accompanied her to a poorer community known as La Carpio, a place where “they’ll take even your shoes”—basically, we were told it is not a safe place.  What a strong stereotype this is!  The reality is that it is no more dangerous than any other city but because of the many Nicaraguan immigrants who live there, the stereotype is amplified.  We met a woman there who worked in the community and with several different committees who worked in La Carpio and it was obvious she loved the place.  She showed us around her town and introduced us to her people and we sampled traditional Nicaraguan food (cheese and homemade tortillas)—in all it was a great experience and a great eye opener into the life of Nicaraguan immigrants :)  And then later in the week we went to the only Starbucks in the country (located in what we call little USA or Gringolandia) for the first time and were flabbergasted to think how La Carpio and little USA could exist side by side… such is the world we live in huh?

From left: Guissel, Rachel, Luli, Stephanie (bride), Tali, Chabe, Me, Rodrigo (groom)

On Monday I had lost my voice and progressively throughout the week I got sicker and sicker.  By Thursday my nose was a faucet and I was coughing constantly and by Friday I stayed in bed hibernating all day.  My goal: I had to be better by Saturday (the next day) because we were going to a wedding and I was performing in a skit for the reception.  So I slept and I slept.  I’m thankful to say I’m pretty sure it worked because I had my voice on Saturday and was only coughing once in a while instead of every other minute :)   And what a beauty the wedding turned out to be!  Stephanie and Rodrigo, two good friends of the family here, got married up in the mountains on Whitworth’s college campus—views of the mountains and small lakes surrounded us and the sunny weather held throughout the outdoor ceremony.  Simply put it was picturesque.  And it was the most relaxed wedding I have ever been in!  I’ve decided that relaxed weddings are the way to go people :)  And for the reception, I performed with the other girls here (Rachel, Guissel, Luli, Chabe, and Tali) in a skit about a warrior marrying a princess.  I was the king and, if I may brag a moment, kicked butt at my solo!  It was a great skit and made everyone laugh—boo-yah, gold star for the day.  After the wedding, we enjoyed the rest of the talent show/reception, food, and walking around campus and taking in the great views.  A beautiful day with a beautiful wedding for a beautiful couple :)

So this week marks the beginning of December, the beginning of Lent, and the beginning of my last couple weeks here before I come home for Christmas.  All I can say is that there’s a lot I’ve got to do!  Please pray for energy, perseverance, and a joyful attitude for everyone.  Stay tuned!

Sin Pavo, Con Gratitud

Happy belated Thanksgiving!  My first holiday (not counting Halloween) away from home and boy was it a challenge.  To say the least, Thanksgiving is one gringo holiday that doesn’t translate here—so no turkey for me :(  On the bright side, celebrating this tradition on my own really forced me to look at this day for what it is: a day to be thankful and to give thanks to God for everything.  I especially enjoy the challenge from today’s reading in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

“… A life of praise and thankfulness becomes a life filled with miracles.  Instead of trying to be in control, you focus on Me and what I am doing.  This is the power of praise: centering your entire being in Me.  This is how I created you to live, for I made you in My own image.  Enjoy abundant life by overflowing with praise and thankfulness” (p. 346).  

So, to continue on in this spirit, I’d just like to take some time to say what I’m thankful for this year:

• I’m thankful that I am never alone and that no matter where I go or what I do, God is always forever here beside me.  For me, this message has never been louder than in these past two months, especially when I feel stranded in a foreign world.
• I’m thankful for the amazing support I’ve received from my family, my friends, and my church.  I cannot express enough gratitude for this incredible blessing in my life.  If God is my anchor in the endless sea of life, you guys are the neighboring boats that drive too fast and send waves to upset my calm waters and, in general, make life that much more exciting  :)
• I’m thankful for the doors that God continues to open for me, ever so gently (and sometimes more forcefully) pulling me in one direction or another.  Just when I begin to flounder or feel lost, He’s there to guide me and to sustain me.
• I’m thankful for the wonderful education I’ve received in my life, both formally and informally, and how it has prepared me for experiencing new things.  I’m especially thankful that I’ve learned how to be open minded and willing to try new things and go to new places (even though it terrifies me sometimes!).
• I’m thankful for technology and how it makes it so easy to stay connected to all those I love.
• I’m thankful for the patience everyone here has for me and the grace they have extended towards me as I continue to adjust and adapt to life here.
• I’m thankful for a year of good health, not just for me but for those around me.  Life is so precious and it is so easy to forget what a gift it is.

I could go on and on for God’s blessings never cease.  The challenge now for me and for us all is to raise our voices in gratitude to Our Father and pray that we can truly appreciate how blessed we are.  I’d like to close with this scripture passage: 

“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

Colossians 3: 15-17

Thanks and stay tuned!

I'm Back!!

After a 21 hour bus ride (in which I felt very car sick), I was almost ready to kiss the ground in El Salvador :) And I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting, but this trip was more of a surprise than anything.  Was I picturing a city in ruins, gangs running amuck, and poverty around every corner?  Perhaps I was.  I was for sure not expecting a Burger King every two miles or roundabouts or huge cathedrals or memorial parks everywhere.  And I certainly was not expecting to use my own money, U.S. dollars, to buy things!  Crazy!  I have to say, not only did I never once feel unsafe or unsecure, I had an absolute blast :)  Ok, yes, I did need to be careful but gang violence and robbery can be found in every city.  You just need to know the places to avoid going to and the times to avoid being out alone—wise lessons for everyone no matter where you’re living. 

During my extensive trip of one week to El Salvador, I now consider myself an expert on their culture (just kidding).  Essentially I was a student and I tried to absorb everything that I saw or heard or, in some cases, ate :)  I learned that while its history is shockingly painful and tragic, the people of El Salvador continue to live on and find joy in everyday life—a true testament to the will and strength of the people.  The scars are still there but many are learning to live with them; sadly, however, many in the younger generations are not learning about their history and remain unaware of the hurt their country experienced.  This new generation is focused on the Western world and on obtaining the “American Dream” and all its modern comforts.  This focus is reflected in the multitude of malls and Western fast food chains found throughout the country as well as in the “need” for the younger generations to learn English or for the many people that feel the need to immigrate to the U.S.  It makes me wonder if they really understand what role the United States has had in their country and what awful interventions we undertook…  I wish the world could have the chance to speak with anyone from those older generations, to hear a man break down as he shares his story about how his brothers were forced into the military, literally ripped from their family while he was spared because he was too young or learn how the United States funded that war and provided the arms that would be responsible for massacring thousands of people.  I wish the whole world could learn from this, but we have a remarkable ability to forget the past and continue on as if nothing has happened.  I firmly believe that if we do not learn from our past, we are doomed to repeat it.

Up on San Salvador volcano with (from left) Rachel, Guissel, Eliberto
Fugi, and Sofi

On a happier note, I had a wonderful time experiencing the city of San Salvador and its culture.  Rachel, Guissel and I stayed with a family for the week: Eliberto, his wife Ethel and their two kids Fugi (8) and Sofia (7).  They were such a blast to hang out and were so gracious to us to let us stay with them and to show us around.  I learned about the amazing urban ministry work that is going on in El Salvador through Eliberto and Casa Semillas (for more information, visit http://www.casasemillas.org/casasemillashtml.html).  One day we even helped out in one of the ministries and played with kids in an impoverished area, helped prepare a meal for them, and joined them in a worship service.  For more touristy activities, we went to a local park (which was HUGE) to hang out with the kids and stumbled upon a concert there with a full orchestra, band, and choir.  We also climbed the San Salvador volcano and saw the great views of the city below while drinking coffee and eating dessert in a really fancy restaurant.  We also I experienced firsthand their pride in their pupusas, a national favorite made out of rice or corn and stuffed traditionally with cheese and beans (delicious!).  

Eating pupusas with some friends :)

Eliberto also exposed us to the historical side of El Salvador:  he took us to the place where they assassinated Oscar Romero, an archbishop, as well as to his tomb (for more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%93scar_Romero); we went to the college where 6 Jesuit priests and two women were murdered just days after I was born (for more info: http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/WPnov16.html); he also took us to participate in a vigil honoring the Jesuits where hundreds of people come to walk in a procession in their memory, take part in a Catholic mass, and enjoy a concert of local music afterwards.  Basically, I am on information overload and I’ve added links so that you too can join me in this :)  Suffice to say, this past week has been an emotional one, both sad and joyful, and I’m still processing what I’ve learned.  I continue to wonder at the blessings God has given me and continues to give me, and this trip has emphasized these blessings even more.  We shall see what this week has in store.  Stay tuned!!