How Would You Weather the Storm?

You’ll be happy to note that my “meh” mood has been improving as of late.  I have now progressed to a “huh” mood where things appear intriguing and fun, but the energy to fully enjoy them is not quite there.  My goal for next week is to be in the “yeah” mood, where excitement is more often paired up with interest… we shall see :)

Susi and I drinking Starbucks in honor of
the 4th of July

This past week has been a busy one with each day having its own (and sometimes unexpected) visits, meetings, and surprises.  I participated in a cookie fundraiser, co-hosted the bible study at our new house, saw fireworks and drank Starbucks for the 4th of July, went roller skating, picked up friends from the airport (after they had an emergency landing), played soccer, finally did some laundry, was invited to dinner with two different families in the community, lost my house keys (I mean, I temporarily misplaced them), had friends seek refuge in our house after they got caught in a sudden downpour, made enough tea to make even the British proud, and watched the Big Bang Theory.  All in all, a hectic week.

On top of all this, I have been inadvertently thrown into a storm of frustration, anger, hurt and misunderstandings.  When you find yourself caught up in a storm not of your own doing (ex. you are feeling the aftershock and emotions of an event that happened between two friends), how do you handle it?  Do you build a boat to whether the storm?  Hop on someone else’s boat?  Cry for help?  Not say anything and just tread water?  Give up, succumb to the waves and drown?  And which, if any, is the right answer?  I have found out that at my core, I am a mediator.  I will not only build a boat but I will anchor my boat to those surrounding me, even if their boats are sinking themselves and may pull me down with them.  I cannot, for the life of me, ignore the hurt, anger or frustration of someone I know (nor can I ignore their joy and happiness).  I’m reminded of Romans 12:9-21, especially verse 15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (NIV).  And I will, for whatever reason, take on my friends’ burden as my own, bear that weight on my shoulders, and suffer alongside them.  For me, it would go against everything I believe in to not do this.  Even more so, when the issue is between two of my friends, I will not choose one over the other but place myself on both sides, bearing the weight of both perspectives.  I don’t know if it’s the wisest choice.  I feel torn at times, being pulled from both sides, tired of defending my friends while at the same time agreeing that they acted in the wrong… However, given the choice to have a do-over, I would choose the same thing.  I would willingly put myself there, between a rock and a hard place, instead of taking the easy way out and picking a side.  If Jesus is our mediator, and we are to act and love in his likeness, than I too need to be a mediator (no matter how flawed my imitation may be).  God calls us to be his peacemakers—please help me to find peace in myself so that I can help others find peace as well.

Before I’m done, I just want to personally thank all the mediators out there.  I know what a crappy hand life has dealt you.  I understand the blessing and the curse of feeling what those around you feel.  I know that you struggle and that you think you feel too much.  I understand needing to be in the middle in the hopes of finding peace.  I get it.  And I just want to say, thanks.  And hang in there.  Pretty soon, your very own mediator will come around to help you bear that heavy weight on your shoulders.  Until then, I pray that you may find comfort, solace and strength in the storm you are weathering.  Thanks everyone and stay tuned!

Dismal and Bleak and Gray

Here I sit...  And sit...  I could play a game...  I could watch a movie...  I could read a book...  I could go outside... 

Meh. 

I could go into town...  I could make some tea...  I could play soccer...  I could take a shower...

Meh.

This past week has been a charming example of “meh” and all that this little drab and depressing word includes…

And.

I.

Can’t.

Describe.

It.

For.

You.

I am happy too sometimes, don’t get me wrong.  Little Maya telling me a story, half in English and half in Spanish.  Baby Sage bleating for his mama and prancing around.  The fresh wind through my bedroom window.  The sun on my face in the morning.  A good cup of tea while reading a book.  These are the things I love.

But then, my dismal, bleak, gray “meh” mood comes back…

I know that there are emotions and thoughts buried deep, but for now my mind seems content to just bury them and forget about them for a while.  Those are tomorrow’s problems, tomorrow’s worries.  I’ll get there.  Just not today.

Dear Lord,

I pray that today will be a bit sunnier than yesterday.

That today, I will take time to be by myself.

To sit.

To think.

To cry.

To pray.

I ask that your hand be with me, as I face this new challenge.

Give me strength.

Give me patience.

Give me peace.

In your name alone,

Amen.

God is Good

 All good things come to those who wait.  At least, I think that’s the lesson God is teaching me right now.  These past few weeks have been FILLED with moments of sitting and waiting for things to happen from sitting in a hospital waiting room to chilling at the Nicaragua/Costa Rica border to waiting at a bus stop—eventually the ball will start moving and the doctor will have the results, my passport will be stamped and the bus will come.  Just not on my time schedule :)

My parents, Rhys, and my aunt and uncle came to visit me for two weeks (remember, Sarah was already here).  While we had our moments of tension and terror, we also managed to have a blast!  We stayed in a beautiful house in the mountains overlooking the beach, toucans and howler monkeys living in the surrounding forest.  We went ziplining, toured a mangrove reserve, horsebacked to a waterfall, hiked a volcano, visited town upon town and managed to never get ourselves fully lost.  We were adventurers let me tell you!  I loved seeing my family, spending time with them playing games and swimming in the pool and experiencing the beauty of Costa Rica.  I’m sad that it’s over.

I’ll recount just one story of our trip because it was a miracle nothing worse happened.  One day, we decided to horseback to a waterfall for the day.  We arrived on a beautiful sunny morning only to find that all of the horses available to us by the tour were extremely agitated that morning for whatever reason, nipping at each other and all around unsettled.  Mind you, this was the first time Rhys and my mother had been on horses and only the second or third time for the rest of us.  Needless to say, we were all a bit unsettled as well.  While I was attempting to calm down Rhys’ horse (before the tour had even started), I heard a commotion behind me but didn’t think anything of it—until I heard, “Is Glyn ok?”  WHAT?  I turned around in my saddle as best I could and caught a glimpse of my dad on the ground, his head in his hands, surrounded by people with very concerned looks on their faces.  Turns out, something spooked my dad’s horse and she reared up, tossed my dad and then (because my dad still had ahold of the reigns) fell on top of him.  He was at the point of passing out.  Thank God there was a bilingual nurse also there for the tour and helped my dad.  On his behest, we continued the tour, had a beautiful breakfast and lunch and enjoyed the gorgeous waterfall beore he finally let us take him to the hospital.  6 hours of waiting in the hospital when good news reaches our ears: nothing broken or severely injured a.k.a. he’ll be fine with some strong pain medication.  After joyful tears and a meager $125 bill, we were on our way.  Praise the Lord!  Needless to say, he still needs prayers for healing :)

The Cathedral in Leon

I also had the opportunity this weekend to travel to Leon, Nicaragua to explore a job opportunity for Guissell.  Christian Reformed World Missions is offering her a learning/job opportunity to help develop an internship program that will be compatible for local Nicaraguan intergrants, such as herself.  She has the amazing opportunity to live in beautiful Leon serving with fellow Nicaraguan friends in marginalized communities, all the while learning and doing new things.  I am so proud of her that she has accepted this once in a lifetime opportunity—all we need to do now on our end is to make sure we get the things done here that we wanted to do (which shouldn’t be a problem).  Way to go Guiss!

So, after a CRAZY set of weeks, I am back finally to the office to continue my routine here at Casa Adobe.  While I welcome the normality, I also fear the downtime I will have to think about all the things and people I miss.  Please pray that I will handle this transition gracefully and that I feel renewed with energy and excitement to continue in my job.  Stay tuned!! 

Back to the Basics

One Sunday afternoon, shortly after our Casa Adobe Bible study, a few of us girls were chatting about how we thought the day went.  We loved the company, the food was great, we enjoyed the discussion—all in all a good day.  Then I admitted quietly (or at least I thought it was) that I didn’t really get today’s bible study, that I had a hard time understanding what it was all about.  Tali and Daniela’s ear perked up and made me repeat what I said.  Apparently, they didn’t get it either :)  The relief in the room was almost audible.  In fact, they admitted that Bible studies were really hard for them because their knowledge on biblical things is not that extensive and so they don’t feel they can contribute that much to any discussion.  So, I mentioned that we should start our own Bible study, one where we start from the beginning (literally, in Genesis) and go from there.  Much to my surprise and delight, they both agreed.  So far, with our busy schedules and such, we’ve only managed to have one Bible study, but it was a great one.  We started with Genesis 1-3, the story of not only the beginning but also the end and, to boil it down, of why we need a Savior.  Even though it was back to basics, I found our discussion so refreshing!   We ended our conversation with two HUGE questions:  what is Sin and how is it different from Evil?  And if God is good and perfect and all-knowing, why did he plant that dumb tree in the Garden anyway?  I guess we’ve quite deliberately stumbled upon a centuries’ long debate—so much for starting with the easy stuff!  Next time, we will pick up where we’ve left off, bringing with us some “research” we’ve been able to find in the meantime.  I look forward to it!

I’ve also been immensely enjoying living at the new house.  We love the adventure of cooking there: experimenting with new foods and flavors and being extra careful not to cook too much.  We are also enjoying the challenge of making storage options out of nothing—you have no idea how far cardboard boxes, twisty-ties, and cement blocks can go!  It’s not beautiful, I’ll give you that (unless you go cross-eyed or squint your eyes or something) but it works.  And that’s all that matters right now.  Another new adventure for this week: washing laundry by hand.  Gotta say, I admire those women before washing machines were invented—what biceps they must have had!  After washing a pair of jeans, Sarah looks over to me and her eyes said it all: only wash what we need to survive.  So, we washed our socks and underwear and called it quits.  We can borrow Casa Adobe’s washing machine later :)

Sarah and I playing chess in the park in San Jose

I also can’t tell you how much I enjoy having Sarah here with me.  I’ve grown so used to her being here that I just know I’m going to have a hard time adjusting to her absence again.  Not looking forward to that one.  In the meantime, I shall just go on pretending as if time is not actually flying by, that she does not in fact have a return flight already booked, and that she does not actually have a life of her own to go back to.  For now, she’s mine :)  

And I just want to shout out that MY FAMILY IS COMING TODAY!!  I get to see my mom and dad and my aunt and uncle and, above all (sorry mom), I get to see Rhys!!  Man have I missed them all.  Pray for safe travels for everyone and that I don’t smother them accidently with my hugging :)  Stay tuned!

Israelites and Manna

So, apparently if you buy too many cucumbers and don’t eat them within the week, they will in fact begin to disintegrate and emit a foul odor.  Ah, the joys of living on your own.  Who knew that planning meals for 16 people would complicate things so much when you are now only planning for 4? 

I’ve found out that, although I no longer am being awoken by the deafening sound of the train or the yipping of playful dogs, the clucks of chickens laying eggs, or the bleating of hungry goats, new sounds are waking me up in the wee hours of the morning.  The bus going into town stops just in front of our house every 15 minutes or so and (guess what?) my bedroom window opens up right onto that very same street.  Swap a train for a bus… I think the bus is quieter, though now people are chatting and greeting each other while they wait for the bus to come… this takes eavesdropping to a whole other level.  And there are several people who own motorcycles on our street and use them every morning to drive to work—noisy to say the least.  Then there’s the guy who sells fresh fruit and veggies, his voice echoing down the street.  There are still dogs, just different ones.  And then there’s a woman who likes to sweep the sidewalk at 6 in the morning—brush, brush, brush right outside my window.  I will get used to them, I will get used to them…at least this is the morning mantra I’ve adopted.

Not the best picture of our house...
I'll work on getting a different one

 On the bright side, my new home feels more and more like home now.  It still feels weird to leave Casa Adobe every night to go eat and sleep somewhere else but I like it despite the weird feeling.  I feel that our place can be a place to go and be myself and feel more like an adult than just another kid in the family.  I’ve really been learning how to cook, especially Nicaraguan type food of rice and beans.  And we’ve been learning how to live without a fridge—anything you want cold you either have to buy it right before you want it or buy ice to briefly store it.  But I think that by not having a fridge, we are learning rather abruptly how not to be wasteful and to only cook as much as you need for the moment.  It reminds me of God’s instructions to the Israelites in the desert: to collect only enough manna to eat for the day, no more and no less.  I guess in a way then we are Israelites, learning that collecting too much manna is not such a good idea.

Our new goat milking stand

Another note of praise, Sarah continues to be a huge blessing.  This past week we worked together to design and build a goat milking stand for Lady.  With the help of a local construction worker, we made it out of scrap wood we found around the house and have begun to train Lady to go up onto it.  Thanks Sarah for the great ideas!  She’s also been hard at work organizing tutoring supplies, office books and papers and designing a Spanish tutoring program here with Erika and Fabio.  She’s also helped me a ton with moving and organizing all my stuff at the new place.  I couldn’t have done this without her (or at least, I would have been more stressed and grumpy than I am now).  Her Spanish improves every day, even when she thinks she’s hit a wall and can’t think or say one more word.  Her humor brightens up my long work days and I’m beginning to realize that I dread her leaving.  Please pray that I will fully enjoy her time here and that I won’t become too depressed when she goes back to Michigan.

I just want to thank everyone again for all your support and prayers and word of encouragement!  I literally couldn’t be building goat milking stands or playing soccer or tutoring kids without you.  And, just so you’re aware, I may be using some of that money to buy me a bed to sleep on… maybe.  We’ll see :)  Until then, stay tuned!

New Faces and New Places

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you yet another emotion filled and action packed week, complete with a weekend getaway!  You’re not going to want to miss out on hearing about this once in a lifetime experience!  Details and other information listed below:

Standing and waiting, tapping my foot, holding my breath.  Each face that turns the corner makes my stomach flip, my heart speed, my breath catch.  But it’s a false alarm.  Waiting for my friends and siblings to come out of the airport was one of the longest waits in my life, but it was worth it!  To see their smiling weary faces, to be caught up in multiple bear hugs, to laugh at all of our inside jokes—I could not have been a happier person.  Apparently, I was visibly bubbling with happiness before they came, so much so that the whole house noticed :)  I just couldn’t help myself!  Finally they have a glimpse here of my life at Casa Adobe, the work that I do, the people that I live and hang out with, and the beautiful country I live in.  And yes, there was quite a bit of culture shock thrown into the mix, but we survived.  I then stole them and we went and hid for almost a week at the beach in Puerto Viejo.  What an amazing time just to sit and talk with them, face to face, hearing their voices in real life, not through small computer speakers.  I would have been content not to do anything and just be with them.  And we did, for the most part, due to infrequent torrential rains and a pretty difficult bout of sickness.  We managed to find the sun though and enjoy the beach, bike along it’s sandy shores, eat strange fruit, and meet new people.  But, through the good times and the bad, we had a great time together.   I wouldn’t take back a second of it.

Biking on the beach

 I also moved out this week—surprise!!  I am living in a small, two bedroom house that I share with Rachel, Guissell and (for now) sister Sarah.  It’s quite the change, let me tell you.  But it is refreshing to be able to have a place outside of Casa Adobe to retreat to, a place to just chill outside of the hustle and bustle of work.  And we are so blessed by the friendships we have here—we have way more furniture and things than we thought we’d ever have.  I’m still looking for a bed but the couch for now is working just fine.  And we are a bit short on any piece of storage-like furniture in the house so we are trying to be creative and collect as many pallets, cement blocks and pieces of wood as we can to build whatever we can to hold our clothes, shoes, and books.  Without money to spend, one needs to be a bit creative :)  

Baby Sage

And as I’m writing, we have a brand new member of the family wandering around the kitchen—a band new baby goat!  Lady had her baby Sage this past Saturday and what a relief that was.  We were all preparing for a difficult birth and (after many many horror stories of things gone wrong) we were all a bit terrified about what could happen.  But, before anyone even knew it, there suddenly was a new baby goat in the pen!  It was so natural us humans were never needed (nor wanted I’m sure).  What  and adorable blessing he is :)

Next week I’ll update you on how our soccer court project is going and how Sarah is doing but for now, I’m a bit tired and have to go eat some food.  God Bless and stay tuned!!

Time Travel

I’m not sure I could have packed one more thing into this past week.  I feel as if I’ve time traveled and somehow fit, I don’t know, a month into just 7 days!  We had a huge party for the whole neighborhood, Obama came to town, we found a house for rent and will be moving out, I hung out for a day at the pool with Guissell and her family, we serenaded a 91 year old neighbor for her birthday, we had a coffee hour for all of our neighbors, I am helping to cure a goat every morning, we had triple the amount of kids in tutoring yesterday, and Sarah, Evan, Alissa and Sarah are finally here!  Whew, I’m winded just thinking about it!

Limbo!

Ok, so first things first—Bola Bola.  We had our big kick-off event last Wednesday and it turned out super well.  Given, not everything went according to plan but it went nonetheless.  I would say we had roughly 50 kids there in all—a bunch of them new faces—and their families too!  There was face painting, water balloon fights, sack races, limbo, relay races, and a soccer tournament.  In all, I feel we really attracted the attention of the neighborhood and promoted our project to many new people.  Mission accomplished!

On Friday, Obama came to town and all of the public schools took the day off.  Roads were also shut down and so traffic was crazy—basically, the government advised everyone to just stay at home for the day (they were also afraid of protestors so, by giving them a day off, they hoped people would forget protesting and just go to the beach instead).  I’m not even sure we get the same treatment back home when the President comes to town!  Tells you how powerful the U.S. is and how we affect other countries… kind of sad really.  No one wants to pick on the big bully on the block.  The big rich bully.  Needless to say, I didn’t have trouble getting to work, so no day off for me.

On Friday, Rachel, Guiss and I looked at a house for rent that’s really close to Casa Adobe.  The price is extremely reasonable, the owners are very nice, and the location is perfect—so, we chatted with Ruth and Jim and have decided that we are moving out!  So, sometime in the next week or so, I will be sleeping under a new roof :)  Probably on the floor… I don’t exactly own a bed or anything.  But we will cross that bridge when we get there!  Anyone have any ideas or tips for first-time renters who have no furniture and very little spending money?

I Love Us :)

And finally, the most exciting thing that’s happened to me in a while (seriously, I can’t wipe the smile off my face): Sarah and Evan and Alissa and Sarah are here!!!!  We are all still adjusting to the idea that we are here, in Costa Rica, together.  It’s such a weird thought!  Yesterday, I showed them around a bit, had them sample some typical Costa Rican food (including some very weird fruit—you’ll have to ask them all about it), and laughed so hard I thought I would die :)  It’s so good to be around all of them!  Now we just have to immerse them in some Spanish and chalk this trip up as a true learning experience (so you parents out there won’t think we are just partying here on the beach or something).  Tomorrow, we are leaving for the beach for a few days and so I probably won’t be able to write next week.  Don’t worry—we’ll have lots of fun :)  Stay tuned!