I love words. I love
the taste of them, the flavor each can have in the salad mixture of sentences, paragraphs,
stories. I love the sweep of their inky
borders, capturing the commonplace, the quotidian, the ordinary events of
everyday life. I love how words and language
bring us together in an act of sharing, of understanding, of creating, of
imagining. Writing, reading, speaking
are all very communal events. Yes, there’s
an author… BUT there is also an audience.
Words can build and construct; they can catch fire and spread; they can
inspire and enlighten. Words are
beautiful.
I also hate words. I
hate how one moment they can be so constructive and then, quite sporadically
sometimes, they change course and leave a path of destruction in their
wake. They catch fire and spread
movements of such passion and yet sometimes, without care, words blaze onward
and burn those they touch. Ideas
crumble. Hope disintegrates. Beauty turns to ash. Words are very very dangerous.
But I am not naïve nor in denial. Words do not act out of their own volition. They are neither to be praised for their
ingenuity nor blamed for their capacity for destruction. For words are wielded by us. We
are their source of ingenuity and destruction.
We are the tool-masters and the weapons-wielders.
And I need to confess that I have not been a wise wordsmith. I have used words in beautiful ways, yes,
with writing and reading and whatnot. I
have sadly also used words to put others down, to crush them beneath my foot,
to hurt them more than they hurt me. I
have lashed out, flippantly throwing words here and there, a chaotic swirl of
ill-intent and pain. I have also managed
to unintentionally hurt others, so unaware the effect my words had on the ears
they reached, so unaware that I was adding to the pain, confusion, discomfort
that was already there. In my state of
such oblivious existence, I have alienated, mocked, and judged those I should
have embraced.
And for this I am sorry.
Today, I want to move forward and vow to be a better wielder
of words. To understand and appreciate
the weight my words have on the relationships I have with others. To believe that my words can destroy and to believe
even more strongly that my words can build.
I feel that the gift of words, of language, was bestowed so graciously
upon us by God and I feel as if I have abused that gift. I want to change that, to walk through each
day with the forever present reminder that I have words that I can share to either
dignify the people I interact with… or hurt them. I hope I forever choose the former.
On a side note, this week is my birthday and my family is
coming to visit me! Pray for safe travels
and a fun time for all.
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