There is an ever-present ache in this sorrow… the hurt
shocking and overwhelming, the silence profoundly numbing… Death once again has
extended its grasp into my life, leaving a dark and depressing void in its
wake.
This past weekend, while many of you were camping, enjoying
the presence of friends and family, maybe swimming in the cool waters of
Michigan’s many lakes and roasting marshmallows over the crackling flames of a
bonfire, I was working. Yes, laugh at
me, call me ridiculous, but here I was, in the office or with the kids,
working. To be honest, I forgot is was
Labor Day until my computer calendar told me it was in fact a holiday weekend! How easy it is to forget the North American
timeline when you no longer live there!
Looking at that picturesque watercolor of weekend getaways
and the last summer hoorahs, I get very nostalgic for my home life. However, when I look closer, there is a dark
brush stroke that bleeds across the painting, staining an otherwise beautiful
scene. Many this weekend mourned rather
than rejoiced, cried instead of laughed, sat in silence rather than enjoyed the
company of happiness. And the stain has
bled into my life as well—this past weekend, I lost a good friend of mine from
high school, a death that continues to lock me in a stunned bewilderment.
Though we have lost contact over the years, Scott Silvernail
and I hung out almost daily throughout high school. Chilling with friends, bonfires, service
opportunities, lunches, going to prom, going to the movies—these were the
things we shared. His laugh was
contagious, his passion for all things outdoors entertaining, and his love of
life and people inspiring. To hear of
his sudden death continues to be outside of my realm of belief… could he really
be gone? Though there is no consolation
in this, at the very least he died doing something he loved: leaving his tire marks
on the sand dunes with friends by his side.
In the hopes that it may help both me and you in this moment
of sadness, I’d like to share with you an excerpt from Sarah Young’s Jesus Lives titled “Sorrow”:
“Trust
in Me at all times. I know the pain and
the sorrow you are feeling, and I want you to pour out your heart in My Presence.
You need to release all those emotions in a safe place. Demonstrate your trust in Me by opening up
your heart to Me; as you do so, I promise to keep you safe.
“Remember that I am a Man of sorrows, fully acquainted with grief. Because of all I suffered I can empathize with
you and share you pain. As you pour out
your emotions in My Presence, your heavy burden grows lighter. You no longer carry your sorrows alone. You release them to Me, and I then relieve and refresh your soul. Moreover, as your heavy heart grows lighters,
you are freed to learn more of Me: who I really am.
“Come to Me and get to know Me in ever-increasing depth and breadth. You will find that I am indeed a Refuge—a safe
place flooded with eternal Love. Linger
a while in My Presence, letting My Love soak into your soul” (p. 32).
Scott Silvernail, you will be
missed.
Stay tuned…
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