Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Ache of Sorrow

There is an ever-present ache in this sorrow… the hurt shocking and overwhelming, the silence profoundly numbing… Death once again has extended its grasp into my life, leaving a dark and depressing void in its wake. 

This past weekend, while many of you were camping, enjoying the presence of friends and family, maybe swimming in the cool waters of Michigan’s many lakes and roasting marshmallows over the crackling flames of a bonfire, I was working.  Yes, laugh at me, call me ridiculous, but here I was, in the office or with the kids, working.  To be honest, I forgot is was Labor Day until my computer calendar told me it was in fact a holiday weekend!  How easy it is to forget the North American timeline when you no longer live there!

Looking at that picturesque watercolor of weekend getaways and the last summer hoorahs, I get very nostalgic for my home life.  However, when I look closer, there is a dark brush stroke that bleeds across the painting, staining an otherwise beautiful scene.  Many this weekend mourned rather than rejoiced, cried instead of laughed, sat in silence rather than enjoyed the company of happiness.  And the stain has bled into my life as well—this past weekend, I lost a good friend of mine from high school, a death that continues to lock me in a stunned bewilderment. 

Though we have lost contact over the years, Scott Silvernail and I hung out almost daily throughout high school.  Chilling with friends, bonfires, service opportunities, lunches, going to prom, going to the movies—these were the things we shared.  His laugh was contagious, his passion for all things outdoors entertaining, and his love of life and people inspiring.  To hear of his sudden death continues to be outside of my realm of belief… could he really be gone?  Though there is no consolation in this, at the very least he died doing something he loved: leaving his tire marks on the sand dunes with friends by his side. 

In the hopes that it may help both me and you in this moment of sadness, I’d like to share with you an excerpt from Sarah Young’s Jesus Lives titled “Sorrow”:

“Trust in Me at all times.  I know the pain and the sorrow you are feeling, and I want you to pour out your heart in My Presence.  You need to release all those emotions in a safe place.  Demonstrate your trust in Me by opening up your heart to Me; as you do so, I promise to keep you safe.
     “Remember that I am a Man of sorrows, fully acquainted with grief.  Because of all I suffered I can empathize with you and share you pain.  As you pour out your emotions in My Presence, your heavy burden grows lighter.  You no longer carry your sorrows alone.  You release them to Me, and I then relieve and refresh your soul.  Moreover, as your heavy heart grows lighters, you are freed to learn more of Me: who I really am.
       “Come to Me and get to know Me in ever-increasing depth and breadth.  You will find that I am indeed a Refuge—a safe place flooded with eternal Love.  Linger a while in My Presence, letting My Love soak into your soul” (p. 32). 

Scott Silvernail, you will be missed.

Stay tuned…

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