His Timing, Not Mine

Recently, something pretty exciting happened in my life.  Thankfully, good news like this spreads like wildfire.  That, and Facebook happens to be a great way to communicate important information to a vast audience in a heartbeat, and so the great news-telling task was easy.  Just in case you have been on sabbatical or hiding in the foothills away from society and things like internet and civilization or something, I’ll let you in on the headline of the day: I am now officially engaged to my best friend, fellow nerd, man-bun model and lumbersexual Ethan Hunter :)  He’s quite the catch, in case you can’t tell! 

But I want to tell you something that’s even more amazing: God picked him for me.

That’s right.  God picked him out, not me.  In a line-up, I probably wouldn’t have picked him.  That sounds so harsh (sorry Ethan!) but the truth of the matter is, he’s completely NOT what I was looking for in a guy!  For starters, he’s younger than me.  For whatever reason, I very much wanted an older man in my life, not a younger one. Also, Ethan doesn’t speak Spanish, my adopted tongue.  He speaks Japanese, of all things.  He studied the hard sciences, which is like oil to my water.  He was homeschooled (not necessarily a negative, but not necessarily a positive either—I blame bad stereotypes for corrupting me on this one).  Ethan is outgoing, eccentric, lively—a real people-person a.k.a. the opposite to my introvert nature.  And he’s hairy, for goodness sake! 

Luckily for me, God knew I would come to absolutely love these things about Ethan.  I fell hard and fast for his flowing mahogany locks, compliments of his Irish heritage.  He may be younger than me by a mere two years, but that also means he’s bursting with energy and idealism (which compliments me, in case you don’t know me very well).  His Japanese side is something I gobble up, eager to learn more and explore a world completely different from my Spanish one.  His schooling and background bring a different perspective on things and help me to see things in a new light.  At first glance, we may seem like complete opposites, but he balances me—he’s the yin to my yang.  

To top it all, we met online and I was already partway into a 1 ½ year commitment in Nicaragua!  How in the world could I be in a relationship, let alone a good one, at that distance?!  Well, by the grace and wit of God, we aced a year of long distance and then struggled for a bit with short distance dating (haha how’s that for irony).  We eventually found our rhythm and decided, much to the knowing smiles of everyone around us, that we are a good match :)  

If I had a pen to map out my life, I certainly wouldn’t have drawn it out like this.  Not at all.  There would be no curvy lines, no dotted ones, no hurdles or detours or roadblocks.  It would have been smooth sailing the whole way.  Luckily, I’m not the one in charge or I’d be telling a very different (and probably more boring) story!

Bottom line is this: it was God’s timing, not mine.

God had a plan all along for little Kelsey.  He knew what she needed. He knew how to challenge her, how to encourage her, how to make her grow.  So today, I thank God for giving me Ethan.   I’m thankful for who he is, who he will be, and who we will be together. 

Let’s see where our journey will take us, shall we?

Stay tuned!

The End

The end.

I’ve never sought out to begin a story with “the end”, but today I want to.  Why?  Because I think that we too easily buy into the myth of “forever” and are blind to the beauty and purpose of endings.

Somehow, we have come to deeply believe that if it’s good, it will last forever.  We could place the blame in a myriad of places… and to be fair, lots of good things do last a long time and we like that.  Think marriages, think family, think careers, think institutions and businesses and faiths that last not one lifetime but generations of lifetimes.  All these things and more lead us to believe that all good things last forever.

What an extreme and preposterous statement.

Why?  Guys, I have a not-so-secret secret to tell: WE LIVE IN A MORTAL WORLD.  Mortal, as in death, as in end, as in not forever.  Now, before you throw the Jesus card at me, let me reassure you that the Jesus card is already at play on the table.  I know it’s there.  I know that he and all his unequivocal attributes are greater than time itself and have no beginning or end.  I know.  But *cough cough* we aren’t Jesus.   Instead, we are currently residents of an earth that since the Fall has been cursed with mortality. 

But I want to go out on a limb and say that not all endings are bad.  Even God, who, after 6 staggering days of impressive creativity and imagination, stopped and said that it was good.  And then He rested, an ending if I ever heard one. 

So why do we cling on to some things that clearly need to gracefully come to an end?  Like grade school, or a bad job, or a shrinking church.  Why does the young woman strive to stay with that guy even though he abused her?  Why does the boy stick with his friends even though they are doing things he doesn’t approve of?  Why does the organization leader push and push to keep a program going because it “used to be good” but now is ineffective and disappointing?  Why does the mother cling too tightly to times when her children were small and not let them go and make their own way?  Why does the middle-aged man long for the “good ol’ days” and miss the good things in his life now?  Why do we live in the past?

Because I think we are afraid of the many unknowns that lie ahead of us.  We like the past because we lived through it and it makes sense to us now.  Why do you think the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt?  40 years of desert dunes and rocky paths of the wilderness stood before them, and all they could remember were the “good times when at least they had food in Egypt”.  But clearly the past wasn’t always grand and easy.  Remember those times when we didn’t know what was going to happen and we worried or were afraid?

Today, I want to give us all a little inspiration to be brave, especially in the moments when the future looks scary.  For those moments that seem dark or unsafe, cling to the promise that our Lord, our Immanuel, is with you every step of the way.  When you get laid off from work, don’t give in to despair or cling to memories of the good ol’ days; instead, use it as motivation to move forward and find that next job, even if it’s different from what you were expecting.  When you’ve been diagnosed with a life-long illness or condition, don’t crave the days when your body was “perfect”; instead, look for ways to embrace your new self and look forward to the day when God will make your body like new.  When your car breaks down, or you fail a test, or a friend moves away, or the bills just keep coming in, don’t cry out for Egypt.  Cry out for God and take that next brave step forward, trusting Him to guide you. 

I don’t want us to fear the future, not when we know God is already there, waiting for us.  The past had good times, the future will too.  There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind (C.S. Lewis). 

Do you believe it?

Stay tuned!

Gardens in Babylon

Welcome to the United States, 2016.  A place where your job and your political party equal your identity.  A place where what we do, where we go, and what we spend is monitored, analyzed, studied and recorded for future use.  A place where our excellence is preached but not felt or seen.  A place where our virtual statuses and hashtags mean more than the integrity of our actions.  A place where what the left hand does, the right hand cares not.

Do you like where we live?

I’m going to go out on a limb and say I’m not very satisfied… I don’t look around and say, “Wow!  This is the place I’ve always dreamed about!” or “This is a place where I feel so encouraged as an image-bearer of our Lord!” or “This is what heaven must be like!”  Instead, I look around and I see such big and deep rooted problems with no obvious solutions and I am overwhelmed.  I feel stuck, my feet sinking in drying cement… what should I do about it?

Where do I see ourselves in the coming 4 years?  Nowhere easy or safe, that’s for sure.  I’m no prophet and I haven’t recently had a visit from an angel or anything, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I think we are living in our own days of Babylon.  Remember them?  The mighty empire that dominated the Middle East in its day?  The glorious kingdom that fought many battles and enslaved those they conquered?   They were the ones that the Israelites, God’s chosen ones, suffered under in their many years of exile from Jerusalem.  Babylon didn’t care one iota about their “all-powerful god” or their role as “children of the light”.  Israel was nothing more than a bunch of bodies whose sole purpose was contribute to Babylonian society and make sure that their economy and culture were resilient and productive.  Doesn’t sound like the kind of place a God-follower dreamed of being. 

But you know what God told his people through his prophet Jeremiah?  He told them to live there.  Not hide under the blankets sulking.  Not run away and live where the grass looked greener.  Not amass an army and revolt against the bad guys.  Not stand on the corner and yell at people to change things.  Not any of that.  Rather he told his chosen ones stuck in captivity: “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce… seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile.  Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper” (Jeremiah 29: 5, 7).  Build, settle, plant, eat, pray.  Actions, all of them.  Not words of condemnation or disgust at such a situation, but rather God gave them words of encouragement and hope.  It seems that God had every intention of bringing redemption to the pagan empire of Babylon, but not in the obvious and instantaneous way that the Israelites might have preferred.  Instead, he asked his children to think big and act small.  Pray for redemption of every soul, and then plant an inner city garden.  Pray for hearts of stone to be softened, and then settle in a neighborhood that needs soft hearts.  Pray for his Kingdom to come, and then build a community center.  Pray for all sinners to repent and believe, and then invite them over to eat with you and your family.  

Pray and then act.

I think I can do that.  Can you?

Stay tuned!