You've Got a Friend in Me

I’ve been thinking a lot lately what it means to be a friend.  In my experience, friends are those who listen, who make you laugh, who get you to take yourself seriously, and who advise you against making bad decisions.  They are the ones we turn to when the day gets rough.  They are the ones we seek out when boredom strikes, or when the weekend arrives, or when something big happens that demands a celebration.  Friends are a BIG part of our lives.

If I’m honest, I’m a bit selfish when it comes to friendships. I’m drawn to psychology and I absolutely love delving into the inner realms of any person.   What makes a person tick?  What do they like?  Dislike?  I’d like to know absolutely everything about everyone BUT I’m also the last person to open up to others.  Which I suppose makes me something like a gentle parasite: gleaning off of others, learning all I can but giving little of myself in return.

My questions abound… How does a friend act?  How should a good friend act?  What do I say, share, repeat?  When am I allowed to keep secrets, to keep parts of me safe and private?  Where are those lines, those boundaries, those places that should be saved only for God?

My biggest question for today: are all friendships equal?

Clearly, no.  My friendship with my family is very different from my friendships with my housemates.  And those friendships are very different from my friendship with my boyfriend which is also very different from my friendships with all of my coworkers and students and neighbors and church.  Each friendship is unique and I interact with each person in a very unique way.  Friendships are much like a fingerprint or a snowflake—no two are the same.  And I shouldn’t expect them to be.

I’ve also come to realize that with each relationship I have, I give a little bit of myself to that person.  As a gift, I offer a piece of my heart in exchange for a piece of yours.  To some, I give more.  To others, just a little piece.  I can’t give all of me to everyone.  But even though I may ration out those little heart pieces and hoard them like a little squirrel, it’s impossible not share my heart with those I call friends.  I’m connected to you.  There’s no turning back, no refunds, no gift returns. 

Which is why absence and lies and disappointment hit so hard—the heart is deeply involved.  Friends know us best, yes, but they are also the ones who can hurt us the most.

My wisdom then for today is simply this: Be careful who you give your heart pieces to.  

Those are gifts you can’t take back.  But they’re also gifts that connect you to a network of people who cherish you in very unique and wonderful ways.  Friends are incredibly important, so treasure their place in your life.  And your place in theirs.

Stay tuned!

Amar es Perdonar

It’s another night here at Casa Kelsey and with no other great distraction planned, we turned to Netflix for some easy on-demand entertainment.  Netflix courteously suggested titles of movies and shows that might perk our interest and, for some inexplicable and extremely random reason, we chose a ridiculous movie about the ever-famous topic of love.  As is the case with many chick-flicks the plots twists and turns were sudden and laughable, not realistic in the slightest.  Nevertheless, it did its job to engage our attention for a couple of hours :)

The movie was quite unmemorable except for one single phrase that stands out to me even now: “Amar es perdonar.”  To love is to forgive.  I don’t know why this simple 3 word phrase has struck me so profoundly…  But for me, that night, those words rang true.  I think we often highlight the other, more enjoyable parts of love: the passion, the sincerity, the fun, the togetherness, the adventure.  But we often avoid the harder, more gritty parts of love: the pain, the hurt, the anger, the brokenness, the disappointment. 

If we jump around in our love-giving and love-receiving, we are only going to skim the surface of our relationships.  When we become disappointed or hurt by someone, we will forever give into the temptation to cut-off that person from our lives, to break off, to run away.  We will befriend people, stay with them for a time, and then move on.  People will fill our lives and yet we will feel a deep loneliness. 

To endure through the storms, to bear witness to the ugliness of love, to come out of it on the other side and be able to honestly say “I still love you” is a deeper love that transcends failure and brokenness.  This is the Love God demonstrates for us every single day.  Let me say that again: God loves us that much every single day.  Yesterday.  Tomorrow.  Forever. 

It’s hard to love this way.  It’s really hard.  But it’s so worth it.  And as Christ-followers, it’s what we are called to do.  As our Father and Creator loves us, so too should we love his Creation and fellow image-bearers. 

To paraphrase a favorite Bible passage:

In those dark moments of failure and brokenness, I love you.  Even while you are a sinner, I love you.  I love you so deeply I sent my Son to save you, once and for all.  Indeed, I love you still.  (Romans 5:8)

Do you believe in Love?  Do you believe in it enough to live it?  Don’t be afraid to love.  Love others as you want to be loved.  Be the love you want to see. 

Stay tuned!

A Home Connection

Back in the ol’ days, the ones that scarcely anyone can remember any more, traveling and living abroad looked very different from what we see today.  Travel itself was slower paced—days and weeks were dedicated to crossing the country, even longer if you were visiting family or taking a vacation.  People enjoyed a more sedentary lifestyle simply because moving took a lot of work (even more than it does nowadays!).  Then came the invention of all things technological and BOOM! we find ourselves in the midst of a day and age that we only dreamed of when Star Trek was first on TV.  We are living it, folks.

FaceTime with the bro

To provide a very obvious example, I happen to currently be a missionary living in a country 3,200 miles from my hometown.  And yet, this week I’ve been able to talk to my friends and loved ones “face-to-face” through the beautiful convenience of FaceTime and Skype.  I can text regularly with people all over the world.  I can worship live with fellow believers back home in Michigan via the internet.  And this past week, I was given the extra special opportunity to check in everyday with my church’s VBS kids! 

In case you didn’t make it to the daily VBS pow-wow held at Wayland this week, I’ve included below the short and sweet messages I sent my kids this week.  I hope you enjoy them as much as they did!

Day 1:

“Buenos días everyone! This is a little shout out from Kelsey Davies from sunny Nicaragua. Each day this week I'll be checking in and saying hi. I'll also try to leave you with a fun fact about Nicaragua as well as a favorite bible verse of mine. So here it goes: here in Nicaragua, we are known as the land of lakes and volcanoes--we have two huge fresh water lakes (think Lake Michigan) and 27 volcanos! Quite a bit different from Wayland huh? And the verse I'd like to share with you today is Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” Well, that's it for today. Dios les bendiga! Hasta mañana :)”

Day 2:

“Hola VBS-ers! I hope you had a really great first day yesterday.

I am currently sitting in my office in the capital city of Managua, catching up with work and having meetings. Managua is about an hour and a half from my home in Leon. Normally I come here on Mondays on a bus that looks like a school bus. But these school buses are a bit different from the ones you might be used to--these buses are painted bright colors on the outside and many have streamers and other colorful decorations. With loud music playing and waaaay too many people crammed in there, riding the bus here is always an adventure! Many times, there's so many people, the only way I can get off the bus is through the emergency door in the back!

The Bible verse I'd like to share with you guys today is another one of my favorites: Psalm 150:

1 Praise the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.

2 Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.

3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre,

4 praise him with timbre and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe,

5 praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.

6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

Have a great day guys and I'll check in again tomorrow!”

A pic of the kids listening to my daily hi-hello-there

Day 3:

“Hola everyone again! Hope you’re having a fantastic week! Today I want to share with you a bit more about Nicaragua, but especially about the family. Family here is SUPER important. You'll often see extended family all living together in one house: think grandparents, your mom and dad, your siblings, maybe even a cousin or two. Sometimes even your uncle or aunt might live with you for a while. That's a lot of people all living in the same house! Birthday parties, weddings, and funerals are all huge family gatherings and can sometimes last for a couple of days. Let's just say here, you're never without family!

The verse I'd like to share with you today is from Psalm 103: “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children— with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.” Psalm 103:17-18 NIV

Dios les bendiga and I'll chat with you tomorrow!”

Day 4:

“Bienvenidos to the last day of VBS! What a week, huh? I hope everyone has had a great time!

I don't know how many of you have been on soccer teams or at least kicked around a soccer ball in P.E. Probably a lot! Did you know that soccer is the most famous sport in many of the countries around the world? Including in Latin America? Well, it's popular here in Nicaragua too, but do you know what sport is even more popular? Baseball. Several decades ago, the U.S. Marines spent a good amount of time in Nicaragua and brought with them the well-liked American sport, and it's been a favorite ever since. In fact, several Nicaraguans play on professional American teams (Google it if you don't believe me). Kids and parents play catch in the streets here, and pick-up games are played everywhere. I live right by a stadium and boy are game-days crazy! So, if you enjoy baseball, then you have to visit Nicaragua someday! 

Ok, so today is the last day of VBS so I'd like to share with you a verse that has been used as a benediction for centuries, even before Jesus was born! You've probably heard it in church too. It's Numbers 6: 24-26: "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."

Have a blast at Fun Fest tomorrow!

Un abrazo fuerte (a big hug), 

Kelsey”

A shout-out of thank you to everyone who made VBS a fun time last week.  And thanks Dana for contacting me!  Miss you guys.

Stay tuned!

10...9...8...7...

We are almost ready for blast off, folks.  In 10 days, my next batch of students will arrive bright-eyed and travel-weary to the small airport of Augusto Sandino.  A greeting of humid air and my smiling face and waving hands is the extent of their grand welcoming party to the city of Managua.  And so will begin their journey from naïve and curious students to savvy cross-cultural vagabonds.  Their mission: survive the next 3 ½ months of classes, trips, language acquisition, homestays, foreign foods and power-sapping heat.  My mission: make it the best experience they’ve ever had.

Now, I’m not boasting in my extraordinary skills at accommodating “greenies” to the international playground I currently play in.  Nor am I touting my refined skills at teaching and providing inspiring guidance to those caught in the murky whirlpools of cross-cultural living.  What I’m saying is that I enjoy setting for myself such lofty goals so as to push myself to go the extra mile and do it even better than last time.  I know what I’m capable of, but I also know how easy it is to become cozy in the arms of “excellence”.  So, there will be none of that here.  I will celebrate, yes, by patting myself on the back and eating my favorite ice cream (pitahaya) BUT then I put my game face back on and jump back into the arena.  My goals are high, but my determination is even higher.

Thinking of my new students, I can’t help but put myself into their shoes and remember what it was like for me.  I can’t forget those first few steps I took into a bright and scary new world known as Costa Rica and then later in Nicaragua.  I may have played it off as cool, but on the inside I was terrified.  I had absolutely no idea what to expect, which makes it incredibly difficult to properly prepare yourself for anything.  Essentially, I lived those first few months on the tips of my toes, agilely and clumsily dodging and weaving and fighting any obstacle that suddenly found its way onto my path.  I could only react to the world around me, never predict.  But then, slowly and after many a sleepless night, a miracle happened.  I was no longer afraid.  The next day no longer was such a scary monster to me; instead, it presented itself as a semi-known challenge that I would (and could) face. 

So, in these past few months but most especially in these past few days, I have been doing my best to prepare my corner of Nicaragua for these 8 students.  I haven’t fallen for the lie that I can take away the scary mystery of living here, but I can set up ways to provide support for the students when they face those moments of unsureness and fear.  I can’t write up a list of “Things to Do in Nicaragua so that You Never Have a Bad Day”, but I can provide a list of resources to provide more insight into the culture and life here.  I can’t de-bug and de-parasite the entire nation so that no student will ever get sick, but I can teach host families and students to be aware of hygiene and to use caution in food and beverage consumption.  I can’t make the world perfect, but I can be there when you fall down.

I’m excited.  I’ll admit it.  I can’t wait to meet these 8 students in person (finally!).  I’ve only been thinking about them since they signed up way back in April.  I know their profiles by heart.  I can guess at their personality and sense of humor through the emails I have had with them.  I know what they look like and who will stick out here in a crowd and who will blend right in.  I know them, and yet I am so very aware that they are still a complete mystery to me.  I’m antsy and I simply cannot wait to finally meet the person behind the name and to have the privilege of walking alongside of them during their journey this semester.

Please pray for these students.  Pray that they come open-hearted, open-minded, and open-eyed.  Pray that they will be touched by the Nicaraguans here and that they will in turn touch the lives of those they come to know.  Pray for our faculty and staff.  Pray for perseverance and energy and joy, even when the number of papers to grade seems just too many.  Pray for our host families.  Pray for patience and guidance and wisdom, especially when they just can’t understand their student’s broken Spanish.  And finally, please pray for me.  Pray for wisdom and perseverance and joy, especially as this semester will be my last here in Nicaragua (and you know I hate goodbyes).

Stay tuned!      

A Heart-tree

This morning I prayed in what felt like a very long time.  Not that I haven’t prayed recently!  No, what I mean is a time set aside for nothing but prayer, a time dedicated to a true deep conversation between me and God.  Not one that existed only as a short prayer in my mind, not a mental chit-chat with the Almighty, not a series of “text messages” sent up to Him to give him a few updates on my life.  No, this one was deeper and more powerful for me not only because it was very intentional but also for the very fact that I spoke to him.

There’s something powerful behind saying things out loud.  Confessing them with my mind and heart seems easier somehow than confessing with my lips.  Unfortunately, it’s also less impactful.  Praying audibly worked a strange magic over me this morning.  I was reminded of the power words can have when God spoke creation into existence (Genesis 1), when Jesus tells us by our words we will be judged (Matthew 12: 33-37), when Paul encourages us to not only believe in our hearts but to also confess aloud our faith as believers (Romans 10: 8-10), when we are warned of the destructive power the tongue can have (James 3: 1-18), and when God promised that in the end all tongues will confess that Jesus is Lord of all (Philippians 2).  Yes, it’s a bit awkward at first, speaking to thin air and hearing only your voice in this conversation.  But a few moments later and the awkwardness fades away into something much more beautiful: a heartfelt confession to the One my heart knows is with me always.  Within His presence, there is no shame, no doubt, no fear.  It’s just a daughter speaking with her Father in a long overdue conversation.

And so we talked. And talked.  And talked.

At some point during my prayer, I was praying for someone dear to me and asking for God to send this person a rather large hug.  Not just any hug, I’m talking a massive bear-hug that won’t let you go no matter how hard you try.  I asked God not just to show this person His love, but to drown them in it.  Ok, a bit strong of a metaphor but I sincerely meant it.  Why?  I admitted to God that I felt like this person’s heart was hardened and would need something powerful to make it feel again.  I then said that this person’s heart wasn’t like Pharaoh’s heart—it wasn’t like stone.  No, it was more like the bark of a tree—hard on the outside to protect the softness within.

The very interesting spiked Ceiba tree
found here in Central America

What a beautiful picture that is.  A heart like a tree’s bark. 

The more I thought about this metaphor, the more I liked it.  A heart like a tree.  I then realized that I didn’t want this person to lose their bark of protection—they very much needed it.  Instead, I prayed for this person’s bark to be strong against the evils of this world, keeping out things like malice, greed, apathy, and envy.  And then I prayed for God to make this person’s roots of their heart-tree grow strong and deep, to drink up the nutrients of God’s blessings and to be strengthened by things like joy, patience, mercy, and love.  Love like a bear hug.  I prayed for their heart to have strong bark, but soft roots. 

A heart-tree.

What does your heart-tree look like? 

Stay tuned!

The Wheels on the Bus

A large percentage of my life here in Nicaragua consists of riding public transportation: taxis, bikes, buses, trucks, tricículos, mototaxis—you name it, I’ve been on it.  Today was no exception.  Today, I spent a whopping 4 hours on the bus transiting between León and Managua.  Since public transportation is still a rare thing in the United States, I thought I’d share with you a little bit of what it’s like to experience such an adventure. 

Hello, my name is: BUS.  You’ve probably seen someone like me in your neighborhood, filled with schoolchildren on the way to class.  In your mind, picture this beautiful yellow school bus.  Now, add 20 years—enough age so that there are rust spots and torn cushions and maybe a tiny hole in the floor or two.  Now add a few repairs and some updates to give me some new life: paint me with bright colors (some that clash a bit too), add a decal of a Christian blessing or of Jesus or a rosary, throw in some colorful streamers, a luggage rack on top and inside, and don’t forget some new speakers.  Yes, do you see it now?  That’s me :)

Now these buses are the cheaper way to travel throughout the country: my total trip today cost me 80 córdobas (just under $3).  These buses are fondly known around the globe as “chicken buses”—which is quite the misnomer here as I’ve only seen a total of two chickens ever while riding on the bus.  Mainly, these buses are crammed to the brim with all sorts of cargo (humans, baskets, produce, tires, furniture, etc.).  These buses are not the fastest mode of transportation as they tend stop every little bit or so to let anyone on and anyone off.  If you want to hop on the bus, just stick out your hand to wave it down.  If you want off the bus, just whistle loudly or yell at the driver.  High-pitched whistles mean both stop and go here.  When people are getting off, you’ll hear several men yelling, “Suave! Suave!” telling the bus driver to “hang on just a sec” and then when everyone’s set to go either you’ll hear a high pitched whistle or someone will yell, “Jale!”  It’s a very sophisticated system. 

The bus driver today,
surrounded by some lovely streamers

Now mind you, these buses were built to hold around 60 small schoolchildren.  At its fullest, I bet these buses hold double that of adults.  It’s tight.  The seats each carry two or three people.  The aisle is packed two-by-two.  Sprinkle in some people every so often who hop on to sell home-cooked goodies or something to drink (very handy if you’re suddenly craving something).  Wind ever blowing in your face, Spanish pop music blaring from the speakers, and people pressing in on you from every side, these long bus rides are the perfect place to catch a nap.  Every time I’m on the bus now, I am either taking a nap or trying very very hard not to fall asleep.  Instead of narcolepsy, I must have a bad case of buscolepsy…  When you need to get off, well, you need to wiggle and squeeze your way through this human barrier to either exit out the front door or the back door (aka the emergency hatch).  The emergency hatch is sometimes the easier way to go as more people crowd in the front.  Then again, you have to yell or whistle much louder from the back to indicate to the driver that you would like to get off as soon as possible. 

Every single time, it’s an adventure.  You’re never quite sure if the bus you’re riding will break down along the way.  You’re ever so pleased when you don’t have to run to catch the bus, but you’re even more impressed with your athletic ability when you do.  Every time you exit the bus it’s a miraculous event—how could that many people fit in there and how in the world did I manage to squeeze my way out??` And at the end of the day, you’ve saved so much money by cramming into various modes of public transportation that you can treat yourself to a nice ice cream cone :)  Like this one:

Stay tuned!

Waiting in Hope

A week ago today I was sitting in Honduras, staring into the flames of a bonfire on a mountainside just outside of the capital of Tegucigalpa.  My senses were drinking in the beauty around me, savoring the smells of burning wood and pine trees, reveling in the goosebumps on my arms from the chill of the air and the heat of the fire.  Surrounding me was the cheerful company of a mixed sort: missionaries from World Renew and Christian Reformed World Missions, volunteers from the Cohort program, friends from the organization AJS (Association for a more Just Society), and children of the aforementioned persons.  Finding myself momentarily lacking conversation partners, my attention was quickly absorbed by the fire before me, as a moth to the flame.  Many a thought flitted across my mind, there for a second and gone the next.  One, however, kept popping to the surface: hope.

I have been gnawing on this subject for the past couple of months, trying to grasp what that abstract word really means.  Hope.  When you think of it, what comes to mind?  For me, for some reason the color blue comes to mind.  Blue is peaceful, calm, centered.  To me, that’s what hope is like.  I’m sure some of Obama’s campaigns have also influenced my thought associations :)  But obviously hope is bigger than a color, much much bigger.  What do you think of when I say the word hope?  Even more, what gives you hope?

Visiting with the Cohort missioners
in Mangulile, Honduras

In Honduras, I asked my group of Cohort missioners the very same question: what is hope?  In the everyday trenches of life, what are the things that give you hope?  I wasn’t interested in hearing the Sunday School response of “God”—I wanted something more tangible than that.  Yes, God gives us hope—but how?  The responses I heard that evening were each unique and equally profound.  One friend brought up Psalm 77 and how, by it, he is reminded to be hopeful by remembering the past and seeing the places where God’s hand has been.  Look back—where do you see God’s presence in your story?  What miracles has he shown you?  What strength of faith and character has he given you in difficult moments?  Remember that and hope.  Another friend said that while being hopeful ever looks to the future (to restoration and shalom), it can also be seen in the little things right here and now.  Seeing the bright eyes of a newborn baby, observing a moment of kindness or humility from an unexpected person or place, seeing something beautiful in a place where no beauty should be found, praising God in worship with brothers and sisters from around the world—these are the moments where hope can be seen most visible.  These are the moments where hope manifests so obviously you just want to reach out and touch it.

After hearing these wonderful responses, a thought of my own jumped into my mind.  The word for “hope” in Spanish is esperanza.  This word derives from the word esperar which has two connotations: “to hope” and “to wait”.  The Spanish language does not differentiate between the two, but in English we do.  Never before had I ever intentionally connected the words “to wait” and “to hope” together in English, but now I was curious.  Today I stumbled upon a very popular verse in the Bible: Isaiah 40:31.  And guess what?  The NIV version says “those who hope in the Lord” and the KJV says “those who wait upon the Lord”.  Could the two words be more connected than I thought?  Could there be hope in the waiting?  This brings to mind my blog post from a few weeks back (“The Ache of Rain”) in which I explored the intensity of waiting.  Looking at my examples, I realize something now that I didn’t see before: there was Hope in the wait Sarah and Abraham endured; there was Hope in the 40 years in the wilderness; there is Hope in the return of our Lord and Savior. 

In the spirit of 1 Corinthians 13, I’d like to share my own version for Hope: “Hope is patient, hope is kind.  It does not give up, it does not despair, it is not weak.  It looks to the past, it embraces the moment, and it believes in the future.  Hope does not delight in misery, but rejoices in the truth.  It always expects, always trusts, always persists, always endures.”

Stay tuned!