The Hottest Week of my Life

I have a love-hate relationship with fans.  Without them I could quite possibly die.  But they sure do make my life miserable.  The constant barrage of warm-hot air assaults my poor baby skin and causes it to resemble a dried up lake-bed.  My hair, not strong enough to resist the fan’s power, whips back and forth in an infinitely annoying manner.  My eyes, victims of constant air bombardment, lack the proper lubrication to make them happy.  The dust sails through the air at my face causing me to be attacked by all sorts of allergens and infectious diseases.  The never-ending hum-drum of the rotating propellers is enough of a lullaby to woo you into a deep slumber at night… OR the never-ending hateful din is enough to keep you from sweetly dreaming.  It’s always a toss-up.   

Then again, the fan sends enough air movement my way to lightly brush the sweat gathered in various locations, offering a brief yet satisfying respite from the heat waves of Hades’ realm.  By no means is it a minty arctic kiss from someone who’s just finished their York peppermint patty… but I’ll take it.

This week, more than all the weeks past, has chosen to be quite an inconvenient adversary.  I have tried to refuse its Trojan horse, a beautiful wooden structure depicting scenes of a tropical paradise but inside hiding adjectives such as “insufferable” and “unbearable”… But it seems you cannot refuse the weather.  So, we have needed to come up with ingenious battle strategies to combat this impressive foe!  Frequent ice water breaks are mandatory every day.  A sweat rag at the ready to clear one’s brow of unwanted condensation.  Cold showers both in the morning (to rinse off night-sweat) and in the evening (to rinse off day-sweat).  Our most impressive battle strategy this week came in the form of a small kiddie pool which we’ve conveniently set up in the middle of our living room.  The small oasis is large enough to accommodate several persons comfortably.  It is also doubling as quite the impressive work space—with chairs as our desks we are allowed to continue working throughout the hottest parts of the day in relative comfort.  Take that, oh Oppressive Heat!!

This week, despite the coma-inducing heat wave, I’ve managed to be quite the productive woman.  I’ve successfully navigated my way to a previously unknown location using public transport, I’ve conquered countless Skype and in-person meetings, I’ve nearly finished writing a large research paper for my Master’s class, I’ve half convinced various people to come back to Nicaragua to work with us at the Nehemiah Center, I’ve successfully deferred jury duty, I’ve cleaned my room and done some laundry, I’ve even shaved my legs.  Oh!  And I’ve signed a contract with the Nehemiah Center stating that I agree to act as the Program Coordinator for the SPIN study abroad program through this December.  Now I just need to renew my Partner Missionary contract with CRWM and fundraise me some pesos and I’ll be all set to go.  I mean stay. 

Which reminds me!  I, Kelsey Davies, am humbly asking everyone (yes you!) for your support in these upcoming months.  This petition is not solely for money—I am also asking for emotional and spiritual support through this time so that I can do my job well and finish out the year strong.  I cannot do this without you—you are my community and my family.  Please send me an email or Facebook me if you’re interested!    

Stay tuned!  More slightly annoying fundraising petitions and campaigns to follow... :)

The Glam of Easter

Sigh.  It’s over.  Life is back to normal…people working, children studying, blah blah blah.  If only Easter could last all year!

Unbeknownst to some, Easter actually kicks off 40 days prior when we have the annual competition of Lent, where we see who can temporarily sacrifice the most.  We have Palm Sunday, where we get to wave palm fronds around and sing fun songs.  We have Holy Week, which isn’t nearly as exciting as it should be… but then comes Good Friday!  Which is actually bad because Jesus died but also good because he died for us, or something like that.  Good Friday is a sad day where we go to church and sing funeral like songs and reflect on Jesus’ death.  Saturday is a filler day.  Then it’s Easter Sunday!!  The moment we’ve all been waiting for!  We wake up, put on our new Easter Sunday clothes (usually in a variety of pastel colors a la Spring Fashion).  We go to church where we sing some more joyous songs, everyone’s happy, we take Communion to celebrate in Jesus’ sacrifice, we probably sing some more, and then we go home.  Usually our families gather together for this super-Christian day and we all eat a fantastic feast, maybe even search for Easter eggs, delight in Peeps and chocolate eggs, and then crash into a happy sleep at the end of the day.

While I exaggerate, isn’t there some truth to what I’ve described?  Honestly, this is what I thought of Easter for much of my childhood.  Thankfully, I’ve come to a deeper realization about Easter in my adulthood.  Easter truly is the most inspirational and pensive time of year.  What other time of year to we all intentionally ponder, marvel and cry at the sacrifice of Jesus?  Easter is the pinnacle of both deep sadness and overwhelming hope.  But Easter is a journey, not a moment, in which we walk along in the grayness of death (Lent), lift high Jesus as our Savior (Palm Sunday), grieve at his tomb (Good Friday), and rejoice at his resurrection and his victory over the Enemy (Easter). 

Worldwide, this is a time of year where Christians become vocal about their faith, serious in what they believe, and not afraid to say it.  “This is what Christianity is all about,” we say.  Together, we take part in the Eucharist to communally proclaim Jesus as the bread of Life and the light of Truth.  We cry together, laugh together, sing together, believe together.  This is the Church.

But now what?  Easter is done.  The familiar rhythm of life has started up once more.  We are once again caught up in the wheel of surviving day to day life.  Soon, the Easter lilies in our vases will whither away and die.  Soon, the leftovers from Easter dinner will be eaten, our new Sunday clothes will be stored away, the Peeps all eaten.  Spring will turn to summer.  Time will pass and Easter will be nothing more than a faint memory… 

How do we keep Easter alive in our hearts?  

Choose Truth

An elephant sits in the room, there in the corner, as big as life itself and yet hidden from view.  People walk past, shield their eyes from the sight, and continue on as if they had not seen a thing.  But if one were to look closely, if one were to pay attention, that person would realize a name tag hung from the elephant’s neck with large bold letters identifying it as “TRUTH”.  However, now that the name of the elephant is known, what should be done about it?  Should the person set the elephant free?  Should the elephant be sent elsewhere?  Should the person change the name tag to a less offensive or more obscure name?  Or should it continue to be ignored?

We’ve all been there.  We’ve all been in a situation where seeing the elephant in the room and letting the Truth out seems like an unthinkable option.  Best to keep quiet.  Best to keep the facts between a few selected people.  Best to let others live in bliss and keep the harsh Truth from their little innocent selves.  Besides, saying the Truth out loud could cause a ripple effect of consequences that we are unprepared (cough cough unwilling) to handle. 

And so we ignore that little big elephant over there in the corner. 

The funny thing is: everyone can feel the elephant in the room even if they can’t see it.  They know someone is breathing up a lot of oxygen in the room; they know that certain people avoid walking near a certain corner for some reason; they know that something is different and no one will tell them what it is.

So the rumor mill starts. 

“I hear that one of us really messed up and they want to fire that person.  That’s why they’re whispering so much.” 

“I hear that so-and-so cheated on so-and-so, but no one wants to tell him.”

“I can’t quite put my finger on it, guys, but I’m pretty sure something bad is going down.  Maybe one of our bosses is quitting?”

“Money.  It’s always about money.  Either some is missing or some is being cut from the budget.  That’s why they look so worried.”

“I hear that in that corner there’s a gas leak, but they don’t want anyone to panic so they haven’t told anyone yet.  But they’re working on fixing it.”

Pretty soon, the rumors become so alive that they start to choke the life out of the not-yet-said Truth.  In this battle, the rumors may win and even if the Truth is finally admitted, no one is going to believe it.

All because we didn’t have the courage (read vulnerability) to admit the Truth. 

Jesus tells us very clearly that this is not the way we are to live.  He says to us: “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6).  He wants us to embrace him as Truth because in Truth, there is freedom and there is life.

Today, I encourage you to seek out that grace-filled Truth.  I encourage you to be vulnerable to admit what’s really going on.  I encourage you to be courageous and choose Truth over rumors, Truth over the easy way out, Truth over keeping an elephant as a pet. 

Stay tuned!  


Photo credit: http://blog.dyslexicadvantage.org/2015/01/27/being-dyslexic-the-elephant-in-the-room/

New Beginnings

The black darkness of night with its starry skies slowly fades away, the muted colors of dawn creeping in slowly.  Like a breath of fresh air, light embraces the world once again.  Pink and orange skies give way to blues and grays.  The blanket of snow glitters beneath, its windswept waves and icy layers glisten with the morning sunlight.  The air is cold, but not sharp.  It is a beautiful morning.

But this day is not like any other day, for today something new is beginning, something special.  My dearest sister is finally saying “I do” to the man of her dreams.  May I introduce you to Mr. & Mrs. DeLange! 

Many months of preparation, of stress and tears, of joy and happiness lead up to this one day.  Hair is curled, shirts are pressed, flowers are pinned, coffee is drunk, and tears are secretly wiped away.  Friends and family from all over come together to visibly show their loving support to the couple.  Everything looks as if it came from a dream; however, the glitz and glam of the event cannot outshine the happiness of Sarah and Jordan. 

To commit so wholeheartedly to someone, to say “we for eternity”, to swear that before God “you are mine and I am yours” is such a powerful thing.  Unlike friends and family from whom you can “break ties with” (no matter how painful or difficult it may be), a marriage is something altogether different.  The bond between you two and God is something chosen and something fought for.  The moment you say “I do” you are in essence saying “I know that hard times will come BUT I am committed to you and to God and so that, come what may, we will find a way through it together.”  Marriage has greviously become so flippant nowadays, and divorce is seen as an easy and logical way out.  But that’s not what marriage is or should be.  You don’t stand up in front of everyone in church and say “I do until I’m sick of you” to the man or woman of your dreams.  You don’t say, “So I think this is fun and a good idea for now, but just know, buddy, that if you get on my nerves I can totally divorce you.”  You don’t say, “I will love you and commit to you so long as it’s beneficial for me”.  No!  Those are unions between allies, an agreement struck between two business partners, a peace accord between two parties.  That’s not a marriage.  A marriage is deeper, stronger, longer, and harder.

Today, I want to be the first to raise my glass to those who’ve said “I do”.  You have chosen to say yes, and for that I both admire and respect you.  May you forever choose peace over hatred, union over separation, love over apathy.  May we, your friends and family, ever support you in this beautiful and challenging journey.  May God turn His face towards you and give you His strength and peace.

My final toast of the day: to Sarah and Jordan!  May your love for each other be like Christ’s love for his Church—never-ending and all-enduring. 

Stay tuned!

Photo credit: Elaine DeLange

Let it Go for Lent

Lent is here, again.  And once again I’ve struggled to come up with something to give up for these 40 days.  But inspiration struck Sunday evening during a sermon on confession: this Lent, I am letting go of my sin.

Ok, Kelsey, wow that sounds amazing. Pretty sure that if you’re a Christian, Kelsey, Jesus already took care of that part.  Like permanently.  So you’ve got no worries.

You’re absolutely right.  Jesus has taken care of that.  But I’ll let you in on a little secret: sometimes I don’t act like I’m a Christian liberated from sin.  Sometimes, I hang on to that sin and wallow in it.  

Why?  Because letting that sin go may hurt.  Some sins I keep buried down deep, secrets I keep hidden from the world and from God.  And confessing to that sin and asking for forgiveness could hurt, a lot.   So instead of confessing, I keep quiet.

Confession.  Say the word aloud and savor the taste of it on your tongue for a moment.  It’s not necessarily the best tasting word is it?  It’s kind of salty, a little bitter, definitely not pleasant. 

Unfortunately, this bitter flavor is a result of history and culture, and not in fact the word (or act) itself.  Our culture has warped the word into a painful experience of admitting the bad things you’ve done aloud for everyone to hear and potentially judge.  Which is why we avoid it so much!  Instead, we end our prayers with “Lord, forgive us of all our sins” and we flippantly throw “I’m sorry, please forgive me” around.  But this is only to avoid the actual act of confessing, using the blanket petition for forgiveness to cover the fact that we never confessed what we did wrong. 

Let’s go back to the root: God designed confession as an act of healing, not punishment.  We confess our sins to him, not because he needs to hear it but because we do.  By confessing aloud and admitting to the fact that we have failed in some manner and owning that, we are allowed to let that go and make room for God’s grace.

Which brings me to Judas.  Yes, the Judas.  Judas Iscariot, one of the chosen 12, was a man who sinned.  He was a man who knew that he had betrayed a good and honest man, a man who knew he had led his friend to his death.  Judas knew full well the act of treachery he had committed, and in the end hated himself for it.  Jesus offered Judas healing and peace, but Judas couldn’t accept it.  Instead of confession and forgiveness, instead of choosing his Lord and Life who was standing right in front of him, he chose to hold on to his failure and suffer in his misery.  Eventually, this led to Judas committing suicide. 

His story breaks my heart.  He was this close to getting the big picture but just couldn't see it. I wish he had accepted God's grace and forgiveness--it truly would have been a powerful story of redemption. I want Judas to be forgiven, to be saved. But instead, we get a story of how strong a person’s guilt and attachment to sin can be in overriding our acceptance of God's forgiveness and love.  

I don’t want to end up like Judas did.  I don’t want to wallow miserably in my sin, choosing suffering over joy.  I know full well that I am a broken daughter of God who sins every day.  BUT, I am a daughter of God, liberated through the loving sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  So during this time of Lent, I am actively choosing Life every day by confessing my wrongdoings, letting my sins, my failures and my brokenness go, and making room for God’s grace.

Stay tuned!

¡Que Viva la Poesía!

Yesterday evening I had the privilege of attending Granada’s International Poetry Festival, a week-long celebration of this beautiful linguistic art.  Poets from all over the world were invited to this event to present a few of their pieces to the public.  Every day different events and activities were planned, from poetry reading sessions to music concerts to a book fair.  One of the best parts: you didn’t have to pay a single penny to attend!  Everything was free for anyone and everyone to come and enjoy. 

el cantante Carlos Mejía Godoy

Ernesto Cardenal

Ernesto Cardenal reading his poems of Lake Nicaragua

And enjoy we did.  We heard pieces from famous poets, included Ernesto Cardenal and Gioconda Belli, as well as a wonderful concert performed by Carlos Mejía Godoy.  I resisted the urge to get my picture taken with Ernesto Cardenal, now a man of 90 years who doesn’t need another unknown stranger grabbing his hand and faking friendship.  I’d much rather sit down with him and chat about his life and poetry, to see where his inspiration and energy comes from.  Ah, to dream!  Instead I sat back and thoroughly enjoyed his poems he shared that he dedicated that evening to the great Lake Nicaragua.

Sitting in a crowd of hundreds of people from around the world, immersed in the vibrancy of the event, sharing in moments of laughter and emotion and thought provoked silence, I suddenly realized just how blessed I was to be a part of it.  And so, in the spirit of poetry and love, I thought I’d share with you a small poem I wrote about Nicaragua the end of last year.  Enjoy :)

Nicaragua

Foreign

Colorful

Loud

Chaotic

My first steps on your dusty ground,

My eyes wide with wonder

My heart shy and timid

I loved and felt loved

By your gente, your pueblo

But I left, quickly

Afraid of the country I left behind

You confused me

You scared me

And so I left

But God read my heart that day

And cast a new future for me

A future I never could have predicted

Never could have wanted

For once again, Nicaragua was calling my name

And so, feeling the divine push of God on my back

I said yes to your call

I said yes to what scared me

And once again, Nicaragua, you shocked me

Doing the unexpected

Breaking through the cage I put you in

Against my will I was wooed

By your volcanoes,

Your corn and frijol and café fields,

Your busy streets,

Your tall cathedrals,

Your noisy parades,

Your crowded markets,

Your sandy beaches,

Your smiling children and mothers and husbands and abuelitos

Nicaragua

You have changed me

Stay tuned!

A Day in the Life of Kelsey

So you may or may not have asked yourself: “What in the world is Kelsey doing in Nicaragua anyway?”  Which happens to be a very good question.  Unfortunately, my response could fill the pages of a small book (not necessarily a page turner by any means… more of a manual or boring documentary).  Instead, I’ll limit my response to giving you a small glimpse into one day of my life: today.

7 hours later and my ant friends are making
quick work of the dead roach carcass

I wake up this morning, my fan blowing on me keeping me fairly cool.  7am sharp the siren in town goes off, as does my alarm.  I ignore both.  My attempts at catching a few more seconds of half-sleep are fully interrupted by my roommate saying goodbye (she’s off to Managua for the day) and the meows of my cat.  She’s hungry.  And I’m her food dispenser.  The world needs me.  I wake up, dish out a bowl full of kitty food, heat up some water and make me some coffee.  Before anything else, there is coffee.  While I wait for the water to boil I notice a small ant hill has taken up residence in the kitchen.  I get the broom and sweep away the unwanted housemates.  An ant retaliates and bites my toe.  I pour my coffee and am half scared out of my mind by the sudden appearance of a giant cockroach in our sink.  I grab an empty pop bottle and proceed to beat it up.  It scurries away so I follow in hot pursuit.  In the end, I win.  I grab my coffee and scarf down some yogurt as I catch up on some emails I failed to respond to yesterday.  I then realize how unkempt I must look and so I hop in the shower, the cold water instantly shocking me awake.  There’s nothing like coffee and a cold water shower to kick-start your day.  After throwing on some jeans and a nice shirt, a friend texts me and says he’ll stop by in 15 minutes to drop off something.  In this country, you just never know when you’ll have company.  After his visit, I grab my things and head out to do some house visits.  Today’s goal: stop by all 7 of our host families, see how they’re doing and collect the program evaluations I gave them last week.  At each house I make small talk about their families and the weather and the weekend and the Ruben Dario festival going on in town and anything else that pops into my mind.  We briefly talk about the SPIN semester abroad program and the evaluations.  I gently end each visit, say my goodbyes, and head on to the next house.  The total 16 block walk is nothing too terribly difficult—what’s hard is the hot sun beating down and the guys on the street leering and catcalling as I walk by.  Unfortunately, after all my walking and visiting, I’ve only managed to collect 4 out of 7 evaluations… I should have the other 3 by the end of the week.  I manage to finish my house calling just as the noon siren rings to let us know its lunchtime.  I get home only to realize we desperately need to go grocery shopping… so I grab a cucumber, some chips, some bread and some avocado and have a quasi-picnic sort of lunch.  A lady selling fruit and vegetables rolls by the house and my hungry stomach urges me outside.  I buy a dozen bananas and a papaya for $1.  I eat my gourmet meal while I check on my emails again—more have come in throughout the morning.  (Here’s a little secret: at least 50% of my job involves the internet or a computer…).  I then get a phone call from my roommate telling me to go pay the electric bill as it may or may not be past due.  So I head out once again to pay last month’s electric bill: a total of 232 córdoba, or roughly $8.70.  On my way back, I buy a French baguette from a small bakery to reward me for my morning endeavors.  Once home, I head to the kitchen to make my second round of coffee—vitally important in keeping up one’s energy during the hottest part of the day.  My mid-afternoon snack of coffee, fruit, and bread hits the spot and I’m once again energized to work some more.  So, as no one will be surprised, I open up my computer and start working.  Which brings me to this very moment, typing about my day thus far.  Which means this blog has just taken a strange turn: form blogging to blogging about blogging.  Meta-blogging.  Anyway, back to reality.  The rest of my day is rather uneventful: finish up pertinent emailing, do my daily devotional, maybe sweep the floors, eat some dinner, and watch a movie tonight with a friend and her popcorn. 

So there you have it: one day in the life of Kelsey.  Maybe if another more exciting day happens I’ll share it with you all :)

Stay tuned!